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To support your work, I also upvoted your post!

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Thanks for sharing your story in The Ink Well, @camerafanatic.

We often provide feedback to help new writers develop the craft of fiction writing. Have you checked out our catalog of fiction writing tips? It provides a list of helpful articles on fiction writing.

You might benefit from these two articles:

In your story, you use the word "hare" several times. A hare is actually another name for a rabbit. The word you need there is "heir" which is the word for a person who will inherit something, such as a throne, land or wealth.