This is an exciting story, a trio of thieves want to pull off the most important robbery in their history, they want to get hold of Queen Elizabeth's crown. In the end something goes wrong, but very wrong'.
You might want to check the voices assumed by the narrator and arrange the writing, separating by paragraph, according to the ideas. In the last paragraph there is an idea repeated three times. Careful editing is an important part of writing. Keep writing your exciting stories.
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