Hi @victorbch2. Thanks for sharing your interesting story in The Ink Well. And welcome!
One tip I have for you is to consider leaving out the moral of the story. Fiction does not need a moral. I believe the story is what is important, not a lesson from the story.
When I explain this to people, I usually use a movie as an analogy. If you go to see a movie in a theater, it captivates you with its theme and characters and music. You wouldn't want someone coming on the screen and telling you what to think about the movie and how you should change your habits or live your life differently as a result of watching the movie.
The same is true in fiction. Its importance is the mood it creates, and the enjoyment or suspense the reader feels from reading it.
Keep writing!
Thanks I'll improve on my writing and add those tips you've said.