Hello @b0s. Welcome to The Ink Well Community. You have a natural way of telling a story. Your thought process flows from one thought to the other. I like how you introduce friction early on in the story by way of the girlfriend / mother drama and deciding which obligation is more important. Reading that his initial reaction was to make sure his obligation to his family came first, I knew this would not sit well with the lady in his life if the obligation could be postponed.
However, I knew your readers were in store for another episode with the couple. I wasn't quite sure what direction it would take. Knowing couples and issues, I thought maybe an issue would arise that would bring them closer together.
You surprised me with the sudden death of his girlfriend with an unknown creature in disguise as a non-threatening animal many admire. This facade assisted the monster in catching his girlfriend off guard, thus overpowering her.
The fact that your character didn't suffer any physical damage from the encounter, then ended up washed ashore is an unusual twist.
In the end he does realize his feeling for her were stronger than he had originally acknowledged.
You already received comments on the structure of your story in terms of grammar. You may want to consult useful posts published by the Community to assist in improving your posts. Just check out the Ink Well Community page.
Nice story. Thanks for sharing. Have a good start to your week.
Thanks for the analysis and the advice I'll be sure to check out your posts for improvement