“Eighteen!…Nineteen!…Twenty!…Ready or not! Here I come!”. Billy screamed and started searching round the house for his peers.
He started searching from the room in which he counted and made his way to other rooms upstairs and eventually went downstairs. He didn’t find anyone so he decided to search harder and in more strategic positions. He couldn’t find anyone still.
Billy decided to check outside, nothing yet!
“Where could they have gone to? Is there a secret room in this house I don’t know of?”. He said to himself. Billy decided to check th garden house behind his house.
“Gotcha!”. Billy finally shouted when he found one of his friends Jack.
“Okay Billy you found me. Now it’s your turn to hide with the rest of our friends”. Jack said.
“I’ll bet you’ll never find me”. Billy said excitedly as he waited for Jack to started counting and then disappeared to find a good hiding spot.
“Nineteen! Twenty! Ready or not here I come!”. Jack shouted.
Billy had gone to hide in one of the huge cabinets in the dining room. Suprisingly he hasn’t found any of his friends while looking for a hiding spot. Next minute or so he heard footsteps coming into the dinning and then another pair of footsteps. Suddenly someone else walked in.
“Jack are you sure Billy is hiding in one of the bedrooms?”. Judie asked him
“Yep! Where else could he possibly hide plus there’s no where to hide in the dining so he wouldn’t suspect a thing”. Jack replied
“Suspect what?”. Jack thought to himself
“C’mon guys we really have to get going. I don’t want Billy to see us when we leave his house”. Zayna said to the rest.
With that they left the house and Billy who was hiding in the cabinet heard everything that was said. He felt sad, betrayed and heartbroken. Why did his friends abandon him like that? Why did they come over in the first place if they were just going to leave him like that? This wasn’t fair. They were supposed to be his friends.
Billy ran to his room and cried while laying down. An hour later his mum had come back home.
“Billy honey were are you? Billy? Billy!”. Mrs Springfield kept saying till she found her son in his bedroom sobbing.
“Billy? Are you crying? What’s wrong?”. She asked her son.
“While we were playing hide and seek, my friends thought I was hiding in one of the rooms upstairs while I was in the dining and I overheard their conversation. Mummy they left him while playing hide and seek to go somewhere they didn’t want me to know of”. He said admist sobs.
“I’m so sorry sweetie. They must have had their reasons to leave like that. Come let’s go out for ice cream. I felt so bad that the dentist fixed your appointment for tomorrow, your birthday. Which means no sweets throughout tomorrow”. Mrs Springfield tried to console her son.
“Don’t remind me. Tomorrow is definitely not going to be a jolly day. Can we go get the ice cream now?”. He replied his mum
With that they both entered the car and drove towards a restaurant. When to got there, his mum had taken him to one of the private dining areas upstairs which left Billy baffled because they were supposed to get just ice cream.
Immediately they entered the room, it was so dark. Someone switched on the lights.
“Suprise!!!!!!!!”. Over twenty people yelled.
On the banner was “Happy early 11th birthday”.
Billy was suprised and beyond happy. Everyone was there; Dad, his elder sister Rayna, his elder brother John, his best friends Jack, zayna and Judith, his classmates from school.
“So this was why you all abandoned me at home”. The ten year old soon to be eleven said to everyone.
Jack, Zayna and Judie had sneaked off. Dad claimed to have a business meeting. Mum said she had to go to the market. Rayna said she had cheerleading practice and John had football practice. They all planned to suprise him.
“Billy son, we decided to throw you a pre birthday party so you could have all the ice cream, sweets and chocolate you can have before your dentists appointment tomorrow”. His dad said.
“You only turn eleven once champ!”. John said while lifting his little brother.
Everyone ate, had fun, drank, had lots of chocolate and what nots.
What a lovely story! You show your readers the beauty of relationships, especially family and friends on special days. I love the way Billy was surprised! Nicely done. 😊 !PIZZA
for the first time, i feel terribly bad to his friends because did dirty on him, but it turn out, it's just a little prank just to create a small surprise for his pre birthday, i'm touched.
Hmmm...a story about a boy who thought he was abandoned by his friends but was eventually surprised by the birthday party his family and friends threw for him in his favour. This shows the importance of family and true friends. Kudos💪💪
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😂😂.. Sounds like something my father would say.
For a moment I felt for Billy. Thankfully, they only left so they could plan a surprise.
What's life without surprises?
A beautiful read, thanks got sharing and now I want someone to surprise me😅😅
What a well planned surprise!
His friends were lucky to not havs mentioned the reason for their leaving because Billy would have heard.... when he was hiding in the cabinet
Your story was captivating from the start, and you developed the suspense to reveal a cute, somewhat charming ending to a surprise party. There was a lovely flow to your story which kept readers hooked.
A very nice read:)
A bait and swotch story which has a reason for the bat and switch.
For me it still wasn't satisfying as their wasnt sufficient set up, but it would only take a tweak in the dialogue and an earlier suggestion of the dentist appt to help things flow smoother.
Suspense filled.