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Luis and Alfredo try to get to the station before the last train leaves. There is no more time to flee this city. The authorities have given orders that men between the ages of 25 and 50, whose body temperature is over 40 degrees, must be arrested and sent to the disease control center.
“Come on Alfredo! hurry up! we are almost there, we will be there when we cross this street.“
“And how are we going to circumvent the controls, have you thought about that?“
“Of course I have, I brought some capsules from the lab that lower the temperature for 5 minutes, enough to fool the guards. Do you remember I was testing them and they work”.
“I'm not sure, my friend, I'm tired of running and hiding. I just want to sleep and not wake up“.
“Don't say that, you have to keep on fighting, don't give up“.
“And for what? What future awaits us? A planet where people live in fear, locked up and governed by madmen, fanatics who believe that this disease is a punishment from the gods. Who take advantage of this to control and take power”.
“We can do something to change it. There are people in other cities who are getting together to look for solutions. You and I are prepared to help control this disease that almost all men suffer from it, we ourselves have caught it. But it is not yet known if it is fatal. No one has died... it is just a virus like so many others on this planet.“
“My friend, you are always so optimistic. I admire you... but I am not like you”.
“Alfredo, we are coming. Walk beside me, don't get separated, we have to do things very carefully, take the pill just before they measure our temperature.“
The station is crowded with people, mostly women and children looking to escape this confinement and men with anxious, fearful faces. It is beginning to rain, a cold drizzle that covers everything and has darkened even more the afternoon of these latitudes.
The train stops at the station, its silver color gleams in the darkness, the latest generation of technology, is the hope of escaping from hell and out of obscurantism.
Line up gentlemen,“women and children, this way, old people in this car, men between 20 and 50 years old in this one”
People are grouped together with their few belongings and warm from the cold, they line up. In front of each door there is an armed guard with a device to measure the temperature without touching the person.
linkThe following events happened very quickly. A man who was waiting in line objected to being stopped, he started shouting.
“This was all a fraud! don't be fooled! hat device doesn't measure anything“.
The guards surrounded him and covered his mouth so that he would not speak.
“Look Alfredo, it's Professor Carlos...we must help him”.
“You are crazy Luis! they are going to kill us”.
But Luis did not pay attention to him and started to shout as well.
“It's true! this is a trap”.
Luis shut up, they are going to come for us.
Let me go Alfredo! don't you see that this is an opportunity to say what I have known for a long time”.
The people started to shake and some of them also shouted.
“They want to exterminate us!" a young man with a beard and long hair shouted at the top of his lungs.
The guards began to get nervous, and radioed their superiors. The orders were already given... kill anyone who opposed them.
The first to fall to the ground was the young man with the beard. A trail of blood was washed away by the rain that had fallen.
Luis and Alfredo took cover behind a column, people began to run. Women and children cried in despair.
The professor had been detained, the most daring attacked the guards who were unprepared and others managed to get on the train and reach the train drivers, after a few minutes, the train began to move.
“Come on Alfredo! this is our chance, run.”
But Alfredo did not move from where he was.
“No my friend, I prefer to stay, you go, try to save yourself, I trust you and I know you will help a lot of people... they need you”
“But Alfredo, you are my friend, you have given me support all these years.”
“And I will continue to be”.
By now the station was in chaos, people were dead, among them also the security guards.
Luis hugged Alfredo and ran towards one of the doors that remained open, waiting for the men who wanted to flee.
A guard saw him running and pointed his gun at him. Alfredo's gaze met his, at the precise moment when the bullet pierced his heart. Luis arrived at the door and saw him fall like the others. He felt a great sadness for his friend and remembered his last words.
The train continued its journey.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
Wow, this is a really amazing story. The authorities are really selfish, they are testing the people yet giving them a wrong result. It's so sad that Alfred gave up trying to save his live.
Power sometimes leads to consider people as worthless objects and move them at will.
It was a sad ending but Alfredo sacrificed himself for his friend and because he did not want to continue fighting.
Thank you very much for your comment.
Best regards
Yeah, that was a great sacrifice he made.
It was a pleasure reading through.
Its sad that Alfredo had to die to help his friend. That's what a good friend will always do. Great job.
He sacrificed himself for his friend and also because he had no desire to continue living in those conditions.
Thank you very much for your comment
Greetings
An interesting plot, you make a lot of use of dialogue - I did wonder, whether you could have shown some of the conversation through what the characters did. Do you often draw on spoken word, or could some additional focus on action have helped elevate the piece. What do you reckon?
Thank you very much for your observation. I really resorted a lot to dialogue in this story, I could have narrated some events that happened. I will keep that in mind for other stories.
Regards
I felt I was living in a parallel reality. You captured a believable and current context. Many would die of fear. Unfortunately not everyone has the courage to confront false and corrupt authorities.
A story to reflect on @popurri
Hello @katleya. It is a story that can happen and fear paralyzes many people and I think we have all felt it. It is important to be very aware of what is happening in our reality.
Greetings and thank you for your comment.
Hola @popurri Aquí te dejo los link para varias participaciones:
extraño concurso:
https://peakd.com/hive-172541/@e-c/extrano-concurso-no-17
abejas somos todos:
https://peakd.com/hive-111516/@hispaplus/reto-hispaliterario-abejas-somos-todos
poesía lírica:
https://peakd.com/@felixgarciap/initiative-lyric-poetry-contest-edition-485b16a9501b5
This is a moving, relevant story @popurri. It is not just about disease. It is about control and freedom. You do a great job of conveying fear, confusion, and tension. In the last paragraph there is a little confusion about who is falling and who is watching. It might be helpful to use names more there and personal pronouns less--just to clear up the confusion.
Great job with antagonist and worry. Thank you for sharing this story with us. We appreciate that you support other writers with your comments.
Thank you very much @theinkwell for your comments and suggestions for improvement. Yes, the main theme of the story is the use of fear as a measure to dominate people and it is terrible.
Greetings and happy day