Tobi ran into the room with his index finger in his mouth , and smirked at his uncle as he was instructed to dress up for school. Tobi is a secondary school student in his first year in secondary school ; he just came in from his primary school from the village and he’s very optimistic about the prospect of schooling in a City and in a school as Losers High.
Looser high is one of the leading schools in Abuja and it has a reputation for improving students whose parents has judged to be losers. Tobi didn’t know of this , he only came to live with his uncle in Abuja. His first day in school is a very interesting one as he goes about meeting his new classmates and getting to know them better.
Tobi met Tunde , Tunde is the last child of his family and he has a reputation for eating his toe nails much to the disgust of his parents who repeatedly tried to make him drop the habit. Tunde repeatedly says it’s who he is and if there was a gender called ”toe nail eating ” he would identify as it. Tobi cannot still wrap his mind around what he has just heard , trying to hold back laughter he said ”you’re special” ; indeed you’re very special he muttered to himself as he left in disgust.
Next up Tobi met up with Anna . She has been to all the schools around town. She is famously dubbed the Scholar ; indeed her academic records are overwhelming. Tobi was going to ask about her when she cut him off and dragged him to the school playground and asked? Do you think you are any different than us? You are a loser too , you just don’t know it yet. You are a loser just like all the 20 boys that lost a tooth when they tried playing pranks on me.
Tobi spent much of the remaining hours of the day wondering why he was at ”losers high”. Could it be because of his night walking exploits , or the fact that he was a born prisoner ; apparently he was born while his mother was serving a 1 year prison sentence for assaulting his father. Tobi went home that day and went straight up to his uncle to get some answers.
Why did you enroll me into loser’s high? , he asked his uncle. His uncle tried holding back laughter as he said , ”wait let me explain”. Tobi got to realize his uncle is also a great alumni of the great losers high and naturally enrolled him there. His focus now shifted to how terrible his uncle was to be enrolled in a school like that. He must have had a ”Balon D’OR ” in stupidity he thought as he laughed.
This story begins well. It is populated with interesting characters. You offer amusing details about the characters that bring them to life. However, that's all there is: a beginning and characters. There is no arc, no development, no resolution. Why is Tobi at Losers High? What did his uncle do? How does Tobi fare at Losers High? Does he stay there? Does he improve? We really have no story here, just a premise. This is a great premise. It has the potential to be a truly interesting story.
Thank you for sharing this piece with us, @precab
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