I don't think revenge is any solution, because reckoning is a confrontation with life itself. This snake was forcing me to make a harsh decision to know what "coming into existence" means.
Together, Eva and I made mounds and demolished them in the soil of this beautiful garden. Many times, just by pulling wet soil on top of our feet and dragging our feet, they have made the same lair as we live in. Also, I know that just by covering their feet and hiding their hands, their cave remains intact. In the same way, the creator of those things that are not visible must be someone who creates them. By looking at the foot-shaped hollow lair, we can imagine the foot on which tendon it rests.
Seeing the fingerprints on the wall of the cave from outside, we can guess the hand. Similarly, if we could see beyond the colorful, dry-wet, movable, and immovable expanse of this garden, then perhaps within it we can also see something. A replica of the size of the foot of the person is always visible. Even the impression of one’s hand could be recognized. We are small, but the creator is bigger. Maybe just as I can draw a long line on the soil of this garden, in the same way, the creator can also encircle the greatness, erase it, and make it again in any shape or form.
Wow! As usual, I glanced through each lines to understand and I see this is the story of Adam and Eve when the snake deceived them and now, they had to face the reality and the unpleasant circumstances that it has brought.
Yes sure, it was different but was worth the reading as it made sense.
I love what you did here. Seems like you gave yourself a challenge to write this allegory and just went for it. The ending is also sweet af, and I personally like it over the original. 😂
Also, and I'm the last guy to talk about this, it seems like you have issues with tense (question-mark). I say I'm the last guy because my tensing is horrendously bad, 😅 so I might be talking nonsense here. But it felt off, like you would start the sentence in one tense, then lose it halfway through, then return to it at the end. The first paragraph is a good example of this.
I rarely give out advice I am not sure of, so I open myself to ridicule here. 😁 Hope to read more from you. 👍
Good to know! Always strive to be better. 🙂
You take a bold leap here into a different kind of story. We all recognize the allegory, but you give it new meaning. It is not Eve (Eva) who plucks the fruit, but Adam. And knowledge begins not with the eating of the fruit, but with the snake. Talking to the snake corrupts the innocence of the two. They do not see a difference between them, until the snake corrupts their vision. They do not know what naked is, until the snake introduces the idea.
In the end, Adam and Eva are in defiance of the snake.
This is a sophisticated, skillful application of the prompt and a valid exercise in creating effective dialogue. Thank you for sharing this story with us and as always thank you for supporting other authors in the community.
Your content has been voted as a part of Encouragement program. Keep up the good work!
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!
Support Ecency
Vote for new Proposal
Delegate HP and earn more
This is beautifully written..who would have thought another version of the story of the garden of Eden exists but here you brought it to life with your artistic skills.
Great job. It was indeed a beautiful read.
That's great. I look forward to making an entry too.
This is awesome twinnie. You just gave us something beautiful from... story of creation? Lol. I loved reading as usual.
.
Anytime twinnie ❤️