Diana was a little surprised when she saw a man sitting on the footpath in front of the restaurant that evening. Diana could see this battered man on the pavement every day.
Then one night, she gave him food after her shift.
Diana was a little surprised when she saw a man sitting on the footpath in front of the restaurant that evening. Diana could see this battered man on the pavement every day.
Then one night, she gave him food after her shift.
I love this story, @sunnyag. How did this come to you? What an interesting twist. Believable even though rather extraordinary.
I was afraid for her when she went into the ally (anyone who has ever been mugged recognizes that fear!). But it all made sense in the end.
Would you mind a little constructive advice? The story is so well conceived I would love to tighten it up. For instance, in the first paragraph I'll bet you could somehow combine the first two sentences, maybe even the first three. That would really set the story off on a gallop :)
All great though, and feel free to ignore my advice. After all, it is free :)
No, I certainly will not mind getting this precious suggestion and doing it asap. In fact, I always find you and other admins very helpful otherwise fiction wasn't possible for me. Thank you once again for all the help :)
Wow, I really like this story, @sunnyag. What a completely unexpected ending. And you built the suspense really well when Johnny called to her in that odd way from across the street. I was terrifeid for her! It was such a relief when he had no intent to harm her.
By the way, just curious, why is the male character in your stories always named Johnny?
Thanks for your observation about the story and especially the name of the characters in my story. I will replace Johnny and Dina with a new set of characters starting my next one :)
Wow! So one mustn't judge anyone. The man who Diana thought was homeless was actually a secret FBI wanting to arrest a criminal. At least I am happy Diana was favored by him and she came out successful.
@dreemport led me here.
Thank you @princessbusayo of course one shouldn't judge anyone at face value but it's better to be careful. In this case, it worked for Diana but in some cases, it might backfire.
Intriguing! That Johnny guy choose an interesting tactic to catch his suspect. I won't be surprised if Diana move from being a personal assistant to being a fiancée. Lol
Nice one.
Or maybe his boss in due course, LOL :)
An interesting story with a very original interpretation of the prompt. Thank you for sharing with the Ink Well and thank you for engaging with writers in the community.
@theinkwell Thank you very much.
That is an interesting. I was not expecting the twist. !discovery 20
Thank you so much, everything came naturally and in a flow.
This post was shared and voted inside the discord by the curators team of discovery-it
Join our community! hive-193212
Discovery-it is also a Witness, vote for us here
Delegate to us for passive income. Check our 80% fee-back Program
Thank you I will do that in a little while. Thanks for the invite!
It's a great and nice story. Thank God for Johnny to have arrested Diana's boss been the criminal.
It means this have Diana upper hand to go for FBI...
@dreemport
Thanks for reading and your feedback bro!
This is an interesting story, I honestly didn't see the twist coming. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for reading and your review.
Thanks for reading and your feedback :)
I thought it was a romance and they would fall in love with each other but then you twisted it into action and crime scenes. I never expected and was so surprised how it ended. Well done.
Geez, what a story.
Keep writing bro 💯
Thanks bro!
I didn't know where this story was heading at all and I loved it,
Especially the twist.
Meanwhile, #dreemport brought me here.
Thank you so much, fiction is giving me a new direction of flight.
That is amazing.
Wow, the twist is unbelievable. I thought Diana was going to get hurt, thank goodness it was just for her own good.
Now, fate turned in her favor because she was kind to the stranger who turned out to be an FBI agent.
You did great with this story, sir.
Although it's not unusual but this doesn't happen every day. Thanks for your views and comment.
You are welcome sir
I never saw this coming.. What a twist! I was thinking maybe he was rich and pretending to be poor and homeless just to see who helps him.. I never knew it was something very different from what I was thinking... Kudos to you for this very interesting piece... I enjoyed reading everybit of it.
Good a thing Diana was bold enough to do what Johnny asked of her... She helped the FBI to arrest a wanted criminal.
I am so happy Diana ended up becoming an agent.. Nice story line
@dreemport directed me to your post
Thanks, bro, I am trying to learn to write fiction. I am kinda imagining things and posting them here. :)
And you did so well with this... Kudos to you. I enjoyed reading it..
What a great story, I thought how kind Diana was and then what a twist with him being FBI and then it leading that to being her career path
You know, when writing these fiction stories, I write whatever comes to my mind. Thanks for your feedback!
And you do it so well
A nice piece there.
You can imagine how one will pretend to be something he is not just to apprehend criminals.
Thank you!
This is one of the most amazing stories I have ever read ... heartwarming, terrifying, HUGE twist, and a happy ending in which the character OF good character is spared and blessed. Well done!
Thanks for your appreciation. You're really kind.
This was totally beautiful. What A twist. I didn't see the story ending that way. Nice one Buddy!