The unmentionable. The elephant in the room. The thing we all ignore but that absorbs our energy. Impotence is an amazing word. Use it here and it applies to sexual disfunction. Use it there and it applies to government incompetence. Use it in another place and it applies to a society numbed by disaster and chaos.
The story is not too long. It needs to be frustrating for the reading in order to convey the characters' frustration and sense of hopelessness.
A story worth reading, though of course not satisfying in any way.
Thank you for posting the story in the Ink Well community.
Frist of all
Right?! I was thinking the same thing when I found it. I am so lucky here that it exists.
Originally, the story was three times as long since I explore each scene the characters talk about plus five more in details as part of the "Show, don't tell" rule. But I had to play around it in order of having a digestible story.
I have always thought of governments' incompetence, for example by the time the seat belts were required by law, thousands had already died, same with driving under the influence. Add to that the ringing words like traditions, religion, etc.. and you have a series of obstacles to overcome.
Also, apologies for the subject being sexual, but I wanted to also shed light on topics in the middle east such as toxic masculinity also the ridicule men face by having their manhood linked to their sexual abilities, whether by choice or by the surroundings. Maybe it is too big of a task, but I just want every part of the story to have a purpose.
Thank you for your comment. And I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate my time here and I have learned a lot from it.
I don't think there is anything offensive at all in your story, so don't apologize for the subject. It's great when fiction sheds light on real life issues.
I'm so glad you feel at home in The Ink Well and benefit from being here!