Greetings, @raymondpeter! Thank you so much for writing this story and posting it on @theinkwell.
We celebrate your penchant for writing. For the betterment of this learning process, we'd like to make some recommendations.
The Ink Well has some great resources in our catalog of fiction writing tips. For example, we have tips on developing characters in your stories, and integrating action, dialog and narrative. These resources can help you learn how to include the important elements of fiction in your stories.
We encourage you to check out the other resources you'll find on the community home page. We want to see you grow as a writer.
Communicating with the writers in the community by reading and commenting on their stories will help you as well.
@theinkwell community thank you for your usual advice and encouragement toward individual posts on this platform. Concerning your advice, I will take it for a better output.