This is a beautiful story, with an age-old theme. A young man comes of age and goes into the world to make his fortune. Here, he doesn't want the fortune for himself, but for his family.
Thank you for sharing this story with the Ink Well community, @ubani1. And, thank you very much for always supporting your fellow authors in the community.
Hello @ubani1,
This story is beautiful. This line really struck me:
the morning sweet breeze, the early crow of a cock, and the bright blue sky
Lyrical and vivid. I felt great sympathy with Jide. The idea of working hard for family and not self is something I grew up with. My mother instilled that in her children. We all worked to help each other. In the end, we did fine and my mother was satisfied :)
You have a terrific story arc here, and great character development. I really enjoyed this story, @ubani1.
You tell the story of many people who go to the city in search of better opportunities. By accepting that they have to work so that their younger siblings can go to school, the older siblings become unsung heroes. Each one is a small engine that moves the domestic stories to better conditions. Thanks for posting @ubani1
I love this story, @ubani1. It is full of hope and promise. Your opening is colorful, and immediately pulls in the reader with its sense of family ties and the fragility of life. It can be so challenging to make it in this world, so this is a story anyone can identify with.
Hello @ubani1. What a lovely story of a young man wanting to better himself for the sake of his family so he can assist his ailing mother. His thought are with his sister as well to ensure she has adequate education to take care of herself. His reasons for leaving are valid, as in some countries, stronger than others. Doubts about whether he can accomplish his goal are never far from his mind. But he has to try.
You get a sense that this determined young man will find a way to succeed. I also sense that his parent taught him well. He takes this knowledge and the desire with him.
I found myself cheering him on, hoping no major obstacles would hinder him from realizing his dreams.
Hehe.. isn't this culled from that song by Dare Art Alade?
This is a beautiful story, with an age-old theme. A young man comes of age and goes into the world to make his fortune. Here, he doesn't want the fortune for himself, but for his family.
Thank you for sharing this story with the Ink Well community, @ubani1. And, thank you very much for always supporting your fellow authors in the community.
Hello @ubani1,
This story is beautiful. This line really struck me:
Lyrical and vivid. I felt great sympathy with Jide. The idea of working hard for family and not self is something I grew up with. My mother instilled that in her children. We all worked to help each other. In the end, we did fine and my mother was satisfied :)
You have a terrific story arc here, and great character development. I really enjoyed this story, @ubani1.
What a wonderful thing to say. I will keep that notion and use it in the future, if you don't mind, @ubani1
You tell the story of many people who go to the city in search of better opportunities. By accepting that they have to work so that their younger siblings can go to school, the older siblings become unsung heroes. Each one is a small engine that moves the domestic stories to better conditions. Thanks for posting @ubani1
I love this story, @ubani1. It is full of hope and promise. Your opening is colorful, and immediately pulls in the reader with its sense of family ties and the fragility of life. It can be so challenging to make it in this world, so this is a story anyone can identify with.
Hello @ubani1. What a lovely story of a young man wanting to better himself for the sake of his family so he can assist his ailing mother. His thought are with his sister as well to ensure she has adequate education to take care of herself. His reasons for leaving are valid, as in some countries, stronger than others. Doubts about whether he can accomplish his goal are never far from his mind. But he has to try.
You get a sense that this determined young man will find a way to succeed. I also sense that his parent taught him well. He takes this knowledge and the desire with him.
I found myself cheering him on, hoping no major obstacles would hinder him from realizing his dreams.
Thanks for sharing this story. Take care.
A nice simple story about coming of age. Changing places is definitely a life-shaping experience.