and what derived from it in terms of lost opportunities,has been my biggest failure.
I think the "lost opportunities" is a common failure, often though it is through a lack of trying at all. I know some highly gifted people who worked a bit early, but then just withered away. As one of the ungifted, it feels like a waste to me.
I think that my biggest success somehow became my biggest failure.
Often the case isn't it?
Are you still in the states or have you returned to Vene?
I am in Venezuela, since mid-2008. Quit my university job after the whole university system got ruined and looted by government-sponsored vandalism and budget defunding. We've been trying to leave for some 3 years now, but things got complicated (redtape and high cost of documents, family issues, etc.), now with covid-19 it just got even worse.
Hopefully you will find a way out eventually.