Cooking is a fucking chore that I'm pretty sure we all hate. Some people pretend like they enjoy it but deep down, they'd just rather go to Macdonalds, KFC or a shitty restaurant where the food lives peacefully with cockroaches. Well, if you're one of those people then this is is your lucky day, because I'm about to teach you this special noodles recipe that has been passed down for many years.
The key ingredient to depressed noodles is obviously depression but since some of you reading this aren't poor or might jacked up on cocaine, you can throw in some guilt or just plain old anger into this delicious recipe.
The Steps
Step 1:
The first step is to add depression into your meal. Depression is as a result of numerous things so you can find the one that fits you and add to the meal. In my case, I'm using depression caused by hunger, unfulfilled potential and horniness. This means it will be a tad bit spicy, so I'll try not to add too much.
Step 2:
Now that you're properly depressed, the next step is to boil water for the noodles. I'll be cooking indomie instant noodles and even though I don't consider it food, I still spend all this time cooking it. It is an essential part of the first step.
Step 3
Pay attention to this step because often time it gets left out and affects the taste of the food. When you've put the hot water on the stove, you may return to your miserable life. If you have a laptop, then I suggest you get on Twitter to rant about something from the comfort of your chair.
Step 4
As I said in Step 2, noodles isn't actually food so you don't have to give it that much regard. Simply throw the shit into the boiling water. After a few minutes, sieve off most of the water, throw in and mix the spices that come with the noodles, and then allow to simmer for a few more minutes.
Step 5
Now your noodles are almost complete but don't forget the depression you kept earlier. At this critical stage of the meal, you open the pot and blurt out a few curse words at the noodles. This adds the flavour of depression to the noodles and will make it even a more exciting meal to eat.
Bon Appetite
So there you have it. Your depressed noodles is ready to be eaten. You can serve it in a plate if you want to be fancy but to get the real taste of depression, I advise you to eat directly from the pot. You don't have to smile or pretend to be happy either, because if you're eating this shit regularly, you're probably miserable. Now fuck off, and enjoy your shitty meal.
dude, if you put some love into your cooking it will improve ten fold! ;)
Love sounds stressful, what does it look like?
it is more of a feeling. You might feel it as being blissful and thankful of life
Brotherly , the indomie is looking fucking depressing and what's it with the face you are keeping?
That's the depression I added to the meal. It improves the taste
Guy have fun
This is why I don't enjoy your noodles 😩
Noodles should be depressing
You had to fucking say it didn't you...KFC. Now I feel like a Zinger burger and there's a KFC right across from my office. I'm blaming you for having one and ruining my dinner.
To be honest, I'd even be ok with a bowl of depressed noodles!.
Go for the burger, everything is better than these shitty noodles. Then again you've had all that GI Joe training so your bowels might be able to stand the depressing spices in the noodles 😄
Lol...I used to love 2-minute noodles as a kid. Now, not so much. I'm going to hold-off on the KFC. (Try to anyway.)
Yeah 2-minute noodles are the shit. I don't consider it food though but I'd eat it as a stopgap to fixing up some real food.
I sometimes get those noodle cups that you peel back the lid and pour boiling water in...They're terrible but fill a hole in my stomach when I'm on the run at work. Real food is better though.
Never had those before but seen it on TV before. They're good for those on the run situations but nothing else. If you had to depend on those things as food, you'll feel like shit. lol. Every time I force myself to eat noodles, I get pissed at myself because I'm a pretty good cook but also a very lazy one.
We like food, but not really cooking, despite also being pretty good at it, so when we cook it's generally basic food, pizza, pasta, steamed vegetables and fish, a curry, baked vegetables and steal or something like that. Nothing that requires too much planning or technique. Although tonight...I didn't leave my office until 8pm so take-away pizza was all I could muster.
Chai!!! Ayamakata
You don't want to eat this crap
This is sadder than the beer you drink.
It's like puke but cooked
The end of depression is one beer away 😁
Now that you mentioned it, I think I'll just reward myself for being alive with a beer
That was a pretty raw recipe my friend. You deserve a !BEER .
!bro
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Sad noodles all the way.
You know. I'm always like, Noodles should be sad. It is how it was meant to be.
Hahaha! 😂 Your title was an eye catcher! 😁 This "depression" noodles doesn't depress me though. 😂 From time to time I crave for it. And if I gave in to my cravings, I ate a little too much. And I think that's where the depression comes, because I am trying to lose weight! 😂😂
Lol you see? No matter how we look at it, the damn noodles tries to depress us
Hahaha! 😂 Yes, it seems. 🤪