I think there's also an element of knowing yourself here @paulag.
I was born and raised in Denmark, which is typically considered one of the most gender-equal societies on the planet. I now live in the USA; I'm married to an American.
Some years back, we went to Denmark and took our (then) 19-year old daughter. It was interesting to see her own internal struggle, because she loved the ideal of the egalitarian nature of Denmark, and yet really struggled with the idea that (as we called it) "pulling the girl card" to get things was really not very acceptable "currency" in Denmark.
So when I say "knowing ourselves," I think we get to look at whether were truly at ease with where the reality of the ideal differs from our perception of the ideal.
I don't have a direct answer to your question... but I do think that parts of the "blame" lays across gender lines. A woman's statement like "all men are pigs" exists in part because many women shrug and say "boys will be boys" when a guy grabs her ass. There's not a uniform response for what's acceptable...
Interesting discussion!
Very interesting comment about ur daughter. Society differs so much, what is acceptable by some is not by others. Some comes from nuture, some from experience, some from ignorance. But underneath it all, no matter what the gender, we are all human and all unique 😀