Hello itinerants all over the world and hive community! What's up with you guys? In my twenty six years of existence, I have decided to share my personal experiences with this so called adulting. Just a disclaimer, I am not an expert so everything I share with you guys are based on my personal experiences and researches. I do hope we can have a wonderful discussion together in facing this quarter life called adulting. Adulting is such an underrated topic since it's never taught at school and people don't often talk about it for we are all always busy and caught making a living. I hope this could be a way to also get a support system that gives us hope, encouragement and advices from one another. In that way, we could make everyone feel that we are never alone and whatever you are going through, other people go through it too.
I know that this post might be bit late but I still have to post it anyway as this blog serves as my life journal already and this was supposed to be posted at earlier time however I had some important commitments outside the internet. I had to process some documents for my trip so I didn't have much time posting this. I hope you all guys still consider and hopefully can learn something from it.
The year of misery has finally ended and we've all gone through a lot last year. We have fought different battles and got anxious of the uncertainties since this global pandemic came in. We were left with no choice but to be resilient, wiser, optimistic and a lot more as much as we can. The year has dragged everyone of us down in almost all aspects of our lives but on the positive note it actually taught us a lot of things and build our character and some have probably found their purposes amidst the pandemic. It even taught us on which things to focus more and even unlearning a few things which could have been better realized on earlier timeline.
For today's episode, I will be sharing the things that I've unlearned and still unlearning which obviously contributed in my personal growth in so many ways. When you're adulting and you take things slowly to be able to reflect with everything you've done in life, you'll eventually realize that there were decisions which were actually helpful but it didn't serve us right and compromised our mental health and emotions.
Unlearning is like letting go of something but doesn't mean to an end of not doing it again in your lifetime. The fact that we're just human being and we commit mistakes over and over again but when you have learned the lessons and aware of the things to let go we tend to avoid or less often repeat the same errors in our life.
Here is a list of the things I've unlearned & been trying to unlearn for the past year.
Seeking Validation from Others.
In this very generation obviously most people seek validation on social media and even offline just to be part of a particular clique. People ask for validation in order to be accepted and feel recognized. I can't deny that there were a plenty of times I had done things in my life for validations. Before, I often posts on social media about my cool experiences & achievements somehow to get attention from other people and for me to feel that I belong in this generation. I just realized that doesn't serve me right or give me good feeling about myself in the long run because at the end day it's not yourself that you are satisfying but other people. And now, I can really say that unlearning seeking validation from anyone helps me love myself even more and I realized that being worthy doesn't necessarily only have to come from other people but it has to start from yourself. The moment you know your worth, what other people have to say don't really affect you in a bad way.
Keeping things to myself just because I always think it might hurt others.
I personally think that this kind of trait is not completely negative however I just felt that it's one of the ways that harmed myself for so long. I find it very toxic when people say specially elders tell you just to not make any arguments with anyone even if you're in the right side so that you won't cause any trouble. Or even with the people close to me, when they either offend me deliberately or unknowingly I'd rather just shut up because I don't want to cause any trouble. But then I realized that it's very important to speak your mind and call them out to correct their behavior because it's very unhealthy for some other people to just tolerate them like that every time because it actually affects our inner peace. I become more expressive just to let the person know that his/her actions are somehow inappropriate. If we just keep negative feelings to ourselves there's a tendency that it will burst someday because you are keeping them and letting them go inside you over and over again. We all have boiling points and when that comes that's more harmful not just to you but to other people as well.
Hesitant and being shy of saying "NO" to others.
I am glad that I have given myself breaks by not saying "YES" all the time. I used to think that it's rude and selfish to sometimes not do other people's favors. I honestly want to admit that I am such a people pleaser. Obviously one of the ways to please people is to give them a big fat "YES" when they need your help even in a smallest way possible. But then again, this trait just doesn't serve us right. It's actually exhausting and got me pressured in the process because I always feel afraid of being rejected when the time comes that I would disappoint them. And sometimes some of your closest friends and relatives borrow money and you always get that feeling that there's a need for you help even you are struggling too because if you won't help them they would probably think that you're not reliable and to them you're selfish. What matters to me the most nowadays is my mental health. I have realized that it's important to balance relationships without compromising your mental health. We can still say "YES" to other people but make sure that you're able to do it at your own pace and not setting aside your priorities.
Being too sensitive with criticisms.
This is also one of my unhelpful traits and has been causing me harm and keeping me stagnant all my life. I honestly used to be someone who's very sensitive whenever someone points out my mistakes because I always took that as an attack to my capabilities because I am such a competitive person in nature. With my life experiences, I am glad that I have truly understand the importance of getting negative feedbacks. I can say I've become more understanding and open-minded about our imperfections and differences when it comes to skills, abilities and competencies. I have been trying to manage criticisms positively no matter how it hurts me in any way because I've come to realize that people don't say things like that if they don't see any problem about you or what you're doing. Maybe to you, you think you've done nothing wrong but you're probably unaware of the things how you made other people feel by your actions or words. I now consider dealing with criticism positively as a very significant life skill one should have. If we are able to manage our emotions when it comes to dealing it, we just don't limit ourselves with the ones we already knew and we will be able to improve and learn more than of what we just have.
Making my Physical Health as my least priority
One of the major problems of adulting is that life becomes busier and there's already so much on our plate to not prioritize our physical health. I used to be very hard working and I've always been struggling balancing life. The major lesson that this global pandemic has taught me is to always prioritize and value our health. Life is not a life if we're not healthy because we can't fulfill our dreams for ourselves and for our loved ones and serve our purpose to other people. Working out everyday helps me keep myself more sane this quarantine season. Every time I feel like demotivated to do the things I need to everyday, I just always make sure I get happy hormones by exercising. Last year was undeniably the time that has tested all of us with how we can endure life by being physically and mentally stable. By giving importance to our physical health, it also gives positive impact to our mental state. If we feel good about ourselves, it makes us have positive outlook in life and that way we make go through life less complicated. And in times like this that we have a global pandemic, the most important thing we have to do is to stay healthy and alive! In order for us to not be defeated by the virus to keep ourselves healthy.
That's basically it, please feel free to chime in the comment section below. Everyone's glad to hear the stories of yours! Just always remember that learning is a lifetime process. You can learn from your experiences, trips and from other people. The world is so vast. Explore and Learn! Traveling isn't is as expensive as you think! There's a so called travelling on a frugal way with a purpose! Stay tuned then.
Regards,
@itinerantph
Please share the Twitter link of this post to #twitter-posh channel in OCD discord.
Kim nakalimot kos akong discord. Need pa ipost didto?
Yes! Kay akong icurate.