Today, I was about to post about a bicycle ride I had the other day, but something in my mind is stopping me from writing about that. So, I'm gonna write about that thing in my mind.
How many of the friendships we have, are real?! How many of them are based on the real care and interest you have towards your ''friend''?!
How about the other side? How real are they to you? How solid is your feeling about them?
You see, lately, I've been questioning some of the friendships I've been having with people, and some of them go back to childhood. And the main question is this: Do you really know what friendship is, or you just pretend to know, while milking out what you need out of it?!
Years of life, tend to change people and their bonds with each other. And out of those bonds, the only thing that stays the same is just that name, and many people just stick to a name while there's no mutual understanding anymore. And worse, some just get to have one sided benefits from the relationship. Just because you guys have known each other for so long, it doesn't mean you guys have to keep it going just for the sake of the ''bond''.
The older the tie, the harder it gets to cut it. When you share good memories with someone, you tend to create some sort of a character in your mind. Though, when years go by, Life gets a grasp on many people, and they tend to just become someone else. When you look at them, and compare them with the character you had built in your mind, nothing in common can be seen there anymore. There's no real understanding anymore and it's just some strangers under the familiar looking masks. The person you used to know and care about as a friend, is not there anymore. And the sad feeling you get from the absence of what one day it used to be.
I'm no saint! I'm sure I've been the same to many people. It's just so amazing that we don't get to stay the people we used to be. This makes me question the freedom of action. Surrounding environment can have a huge effect on how we behave and what we become as people. Do we really have the freedom? Or we are just some particles, and we change as the environment around us changes?
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10 years of absence in my hometown has made me like a total outsider. I'm just looking at people like a person who does not belong. This makes me wonder... What if I had stayed in my town? Could I become what I have become? And I'm gonna say HELL NO! Those years of being in another environment, changed me in many, many aspects. And of course it so did it to the friends I left behind.
I don't know to end this, But one thing is very prominent in this odd life, and that is change. Change is the only constant, and I think I'll have to come to peace with the idea that people change.
Thank you for reading this. :)
Peace! <3
I have been questioning the same thing. I move quite a lot and I met a lot of people from different ages, interest, backgrounds due to my vast interest. However, whenever I am told " go out with your friends, do something with your friends" I can't honestly say I have that many friends. Are they my real friends then? I don't know either. I would say that to me, a real friend is someone who I can really connect even after years of not in contact without feeling like a stranger. That even when our ideology, thoughts, approaches in life change, they are still willing to talk to me.
It also interesting to me how English has its way to distinguish friendship. It started from acquaintance, colleague, co-worker, friend, close friend, best friend. Meanwhile in another languages like Indonesia, there's only the idea of friend. So, yeah it's more easier to categorize the friendship I have even that type of culture was something I learned years ago cause it is not embedded in my own culture.
Then, there is the kind of friendship you have that you were so invested in but due some reasons they became your distant. I wrote a note about it two years ago. CIAO Two Scoops of Gelato
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Anyhow, thanks for sharing your insight and story. Cheers :)
You know, I know many people and I call many of them a ''friend''. But if you ask me if I have that one person who connects with me to the deepest levels? I'd have to say no one! I don't know, maybe we have to bring the standards lower. lol :D
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