Sometimes it's the parents.
Sometimes there's brain glitches that aren't necessarily caused by parents, and most of them are minor enough that it's so much easier to just assume that the parents are clearly terrible at their job XD
Too many seem to see it as a lifegoal checklist kind of thing or have some kind of idealistic view of what it means, or what they want to get out of it
I have known a few people like this x_x fortunately some of them while feeling like failures for not having ticked that particular box have at least realised that if it's just an item on a checklist they probably shouldn't in that particular case.
With the one here yesterday, it is a case of both I think, but don't know them well enough.
I know some people who had kids for the list and have been terrible parents. I also know some that had kids for the list and ended up being great parents, as they recognized the magnitude of their role.