A few weeks ago I wrote an essay for a job application that I had stalled a long while before writing. It seemed like a fun job, the requirement was just to write creatively, no experience needed and a good pay. Quite fair for a remote job if you ask me. I quickly put the application on my to-do list, I was going to do it, I just didn't know when.
I used to actively search for jobs but I just got tired because they were mostly shitty jobs anyway. It's good to start from somewhere I know, but I wouldn't want a job where I'd hate my life and get paid peanuts. I might not be as desperate as I thought. All I do now is copy the job links to my clipboard lying to myself I'd open them later. That's how this particular job application I was really interested in got swamped in the multitude of job links I had saved. I couldn't find it anymore and forgot about it until a few days later when I came across the job ad somewhere else.
I wrote the essay and it was so much fun doing it. I read it out to myself and thought, 'This is it! They're gonna love it'. I clicked the apply button and got a disappointing 'Application Closed'. Damn. The one job I was interested in for the first time in a while gone and it was totally my fault. Why do I procrastinate?, I asked myself. Am I really just lazy or always distracted by other things? Why do I sometimes not prioritize things that are important to me? I mean, I actually was excited at the thought of that job but I didn't send my essay in on time.
I thought back to the job ad, the essay, and how I felt when I saw the topic to write on, then I realized the problem. I was scared. In that moment I became so unsure of my abilities and doubted I could do what they asked. I only put it off for later because I just didn't think whatever I'd write would be good enough. It wasn't me being lazy or too busy with other activities, I just didn't trust myself at that moment. This is the same case for every other project I procrastinate, I always talk myself down, very subtly by the way, and end up not doing it.
The irony of it all is when I eventually got the balls to write the essay it was so easy and came naturally. I had stressed and doubted unnecessarily for something I would have done if I had just started. Now I know better, just start and it'd come to you. Stop being afraid, you can and will do this!
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Don't beat yourself up over it, opportunities will keep flowing from the faucet, and something else will come along that suits very soon I hope.
I hope so too. Thank you!
Well, procastination sure can destroy so many things you really wanna put in place. However, you should be cool with yourself over the job you missed. Who knows, you might find a better one soonest. Talking about the clipboard, do you use laptop or mobile?
Well I hope I find something good.
I use my mobile phone for everything.
OK.... Download SwiftKey keyboard and start using it. That way, you can safe many links on clipboard and name them whatever you like so you get to know them for later use
Alright, thanks
Its honestly scary how i find your posts very relatable. I have written so many essays and applied for so many jobs that i cant even keep track. The pressure is definitely something to deal with. It will get better.
One thing I think will help is jotting the roles applied for in a book. Only the ones you are really interested in or deem important.
I got an invite yesterday, I have no idea the role I applied for but I know I did apply. I was asked to send a video pitch, now the problem is how do I ask, "please sir, remind me what role I applied for" lol