Envy is a feeling that everyone lives with at some point in our lives. It is a desire to possess what the other belongs to; therefore, it is characterized by disgust at the happiness of others.
Movies, novels, and books have portrayed envy through their characters for years and years. Some very famous is Iago, from "Othello, the Moor of Venice," from Shakespeare and the witch from Snow White.
What many people confuse are the differences between jealousy and envy. As much as they are connected, and one can trigger the other, it is necessary to understand how they differ. The jealousy is motivated by something that has and is afraid of losing, while envy is the feeling of lack when you compare yourself with others and desires to possess what he has.
Just think about love. Jealousy exists when you have a boyfriend and are afraid of losing him when you see him talking to another person at a party. Envy, on the other hand, exists when you don't have a boyfriend and have the desire to own your classmate's boyfriend, for example.
Why are we jealous?
Since we were little, we are conditioned to the idea that feeling jealous is ugly; however, this does not prevent that sometimes this feeling is born within us. Why does it happen? Why do we desire what belongs to the other?
Maslow was an American psychologist who developed the theory called the Pyramid of Necessities, in which there are five levels. Those at the bottom of the pyramid are the basic ones (physiological and security needs), then there are the social needs for self-esteem and self-fulfillment. The objective of the pyramid is to determine the set of conditions necessary for a person to achieve personal or professional satisfaction.
The base of the pyramid deals with basic needs for living, such as food, water, sleep, security, shelter, security. Maslow believed that without these basic needs satisfied, the individual would not even worry about the next levels.
The next level, the social, involves loving relationships, family, friendships, belonging to groups. Then comes the esteem, which, according to Maslow, affirms that the human being has the need to feel esteemed in his relationships, needing the people around him to recognize his value. Therefore, recognition, status, and self-esteem are born here.
Finally, the needs for personal achievements are the most complex, and you have to work hard to reach them both personally and professionally. They are related to your values, independence, creativity, spontaneity, being in control of your emotions, and knowing yourself.
When we talk about envy and associate it with the Maslow pyramid, we quickly think about how everyone at these levels, from the most basic to those that involve many years of work, can influence the level of envy we feel.
The other has a huge beautiful house, and I live in an uncomfortable cubicle. My physiological need to achieve something that provides me with more comfort can make me envy the other. Regarding self-esteem, for example, I can envy the one who is very successful and accepted in social circles of which I would like to be part.
The theme is complex, but it is worth understanding the pyramid because it makes us more clear about how our needs can arouse the feeling of envy.
What really happens there is that there is insecurity in oneself, if one knows who one is, what one is capable of doing and is aware of one's whole being that kind of thing does not happen, I know from my own experience, when we are sure of what we have, of who we are and of the person who is by our side that does not happen, it is my very personal opinion. Jealousy is not completely bad now I think that envy is, but good is a matter of thought. Jealousy can be sickly, everything in excess is bad, it can bother us about certain things, yes, it is valid, but what happens when it becomes everyday? It already becomes something pathological and is what we should not fall into. That's why the best thing is to have confidence in yourself, that's the best remedy.