I had this friend. Yes, I said I had, because we are no longer friends. He had or rather has an issue with women. Something to do with a heartbreak he had three years ago, as he told me. It wasn’t his issues with women that troubled me, it was his mindset
One thing that kept recurring in our conversations was: women this, women that. My ex this, my ex that. Mind you, I am a woman, and I had to bear with him talking ill about women because that's what he knew best.
At first, when I got to know him, I had trouble understanding him and I had to withdraw the friendship and look at the situation well. I wondered, "Was I the issue, or are we just not understanding each other? Or maybe I should use his lenses to see his point." After a while, we got to talking again, but this time, I was charged with a mindset that, no matter what, I wouldn't rush to get angry or judgey.
But again, one thing was constant. He was bent on revenge, and when I say revenge I mean the physical kind, the brutal kind. He'd tell me, "My ex doesn't know me well, I can send her goons to ambush her and there's nothing she can do." The ex we're talking about has his son. This guy is jobless, he plays video games each day, unless, after our fallout, he got a job, so he ain't paying no child support!
All his energy was subjected to the wrong thing. Instead of growth, he focused solely on revenge, bad-mouthing and games. Maybe that's how he copes, I would tell myself over and over again. But honestly, his toxicity was a little bit higher. Three years is a long time to focus on the same thing that will only bring loss to him and the world in general.
I kept telling him, based on my experience with my father's child separation, that he had to channel his energy to build himself, rather than focusing on the same spot his ex left him. I'd tell him, the best revenge he could give his ex, who'd already moved on, was focusing on improving himself. I'd tell him nothing soothes an ego like acquiring the mindset of, "I can still make it without you in the picture," rather than a fist fight.
But things kept going back to revenge until his last message before our fallout. That message was kinda hurtful and directed at women, which I will be sharing with you on this post.
Our last conversation screenshot
Dealing with him required a lot of patience, maybe more than he deserved from me. It made me realize one thing: Maturity is never about age. He is older than me, but his thinking level is that of an eighth grader, sorry to say.
Maturity will never be scaled by age, never! Maturity is all about emotional intelligence, like knowing how to deal with emotions in a more constructive way, knowing when to act on them, when to stop. I disagree with people who think that walking away from a fight is cowardly, while in the real sense, it shows maturity, because the person walking away has viewed and weighed the situation only to realize that no good will come from it, either verbally and/or physically and mentally.
Thank you for reading❤️!
I absolutely support this end of friendship. It’s not nice to have a friend who always talks down or bad about people, be it men or women.
I tried to make him see otherwise and I bet it's for the best it ended. It's peaceful now. Thank you for reading through❤️
Hey there, when you publish in HiveGhana, kindly engage with other posts in the community.
Hi too
I will engage more as I intend to learn and grow in Hive😊
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Thank you 😊
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Thank you!
Maturity is not about age , like you said,it Involves a lot of strategy, in different angles and knowing how to blend in with different kind of people.
Thanks for ending such toxic friend who has refused to grow in maturity
Yeah, at least the relationship ended. I agree with you. That experience helped me too. At least now I know that even people older than me can be immature, and I have a clue about how to deescalate. Thank you for reading through❤️!
Exactly 💯❤️❤️❤️
That is great... Maturity isn't about age but that person must not see this post😂
😂😂😂Or I might end up as the next target🤭.. Thank you for reading through and for giving it a lighter tone through your comment😊
You are welcome 😁
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I'm glad the friendship ended, ahh what is this? Maturity is not about age
Indeed maturity is not about age. I don't have to deal with hearing how bad we are now🙂. Thank you for visiting and reading through❤️!