Hello beautiful people. Knowing that conflicts like these exist in relationships, and wanting to know how to prevent them from coming up, resolve them e when they arise, can we identify the prevalent causes of conflict?
Is it that our lover/loved oneintentionallyal just like step on our toes or like to make us feel bad? There will always be some areas of disagreement that are left to hang, just for peace to reign, although for a moment.
When I think my partner is also shying away from ironing them out to a logical and helpful conclusion, I let the issue be until an opportune time when I have the time and energy.
Learning to appreciate the difference and creating an environment that we are different in thinking, From different family background and family dynamics, and together find a common ground
Conflicts can be reduced to a bearable minimum.
For me, I think the most prevalent cause is refusing to acknowledge that we all are different and unique, in our thoughts, style, etc. You can't expect the other person to think exactly the way you do, or want them to have things done exactly the way you like them done.
We most times always expect the other person to reason and act like us, and when they don't, we feel offended. Conflicts cannot be avoided in relationships but can be reduced with time; after you have both understood yourselves to a certain level and made adjustments, it can be reduced.
I also believe that conflicts can be reduced, with time and effort. If we've been together for a while, we should have misunderstanding on the same issues, we should outgrow them. But of course, that requires conscious and intentional efforts, they won't just disappear on their own.
And I'll add that, although new issues will continue to come up but we can take a cue from how we dealt with previous ones to serve as "shock absorbers" to prevent escalation.
My concluding opinion:
Effective communication: Rather than keep how we feel or things we don't like to ourselves, we should communicate, in a proper way, not instigating anger, and ensure the person understands our point of view.
Understanding: Understanding that we are all wired differently helps a long way to avoid some conflicts in the first place. So we give room for differences and make strength of them instead of being angry that the person is not what we expect them to be.
Compromise/Consensus: In relationships, we need to be able to give up some things for the other person just to let peace reign. For instance, if you like your stuff to be arranged vertically, and the other person likes it arranged horizontally, you can give up your preference (compromise) or both agree that it would be arranged vertically for one week and horizontally for the next week (consensus).
Avoid comparisons. It makes the other person feel bad and in an extreme case, worthless and bitter.
Be fervent in the things of the Spirit. Study the Word, pray, fast. This builds three fruits of the Spirit in you and puts to death the works of the flesh.
How?Be soft-spoken and polite when addressing issues.
Be ready to compromise when needed. Your own demands must not be fully met.
Sandwich your heated discussions with a little bit of kindness in-between
Or how can we avoid escalation?
Conflicts in relationships stem from individual differences, which can escalate to misunderstanding, anger and violence if not kept in check.
Though, they cannot be totally eradicated, conscious, intentional efforts can reduce them to the bearest minimum over time.
Some ways to avoid escalation include acknowledging the existence of differences, effective communication (which involves active listening and polite conversation), compromise, applying wisdom when the conversation becomes heated, and being fervent in the things of the Spirit.
