I started my new job November 10. I've not met a person there that I don't like. The work itself is easy, but very demanding mentally. I have been getting up at between 4:30AM and 5:20AM since November 10. I catch the train into the city. I walk ten minutes before that. I walk another ten quick minutes from the train station to the office.
I try to log on at 7AM. That means I can finish at 3:06PM. Workday done.
The work building has a gym. Sometimes I use it after work, but it is not equipped like the one I pay for near my house. The days when I have to come to the office, which at the moment is every Monday, every Tuesday, every Wednesday, every Thursday and every Friday, it is a 70 or so kilometres on a train all up, two hours.
An ideal day, I wake up 5:10, I leave, I return home at about 4:40. There's little time for much else. I get tired. I get irritable, particularly now that the children have return ed to school and their loud voices and misbehaving tongues exceed the noise level that I determine to be a suitable one.
I have noise cancelling headphones. They silence the masses of conversations on the train, and on some days, I get to sit next to a coworker on the journey home.
I am so grateful for my noise cancelling headphones. Without them, I would be guilty of so many verbal misdemeanours, mainly involving my desire for silence on a train carriage.
My meals at work are the same every day. I have two protein shakes, one in the morning, when I arrive, then another on my first break a few hours later; and then when I get home after the gym, I have some more protein and fibre and find that no matter how much water I drink, it never feels enough - given the Australian heat of the summer, and the necessity to commute through it.
When I left my prior job, I was happy. When I started my new job, I was happy, but I find myself having no medium to long term objectives beyond retaining gainful employment, in order to provide for my family, my cat, and to keep the corporate entities that demand money for bills at bay.
With each passing day, I feel my free will stripped ever so slightly more. Perhaps it is the fact that the routine of travel, the stubbornness of the train that always takes me to the same destination - the fact that I take the same laneways and alleys instead of the main streets (because it gets me in and out faster) makes me feel more like a small part of a larger moving machine.
I maintain my unique identity through my homeless appearance - long hair, un-trimmed beard, and a desire to find myself in the gym every second day. I get mentally tired.
Then I go to the gym, and I get physically tired. But it never feels like enough for sleep to claim me. I don't drink coffee. I've started drinking green tea in the office in the mid-morning. I gaslight myself into the antioxidants enhancing my mental focus, when in reality, it is the creatine in my protein shake.
Yet, I dream at night. I have lucid dreams of the office's production systems, and I wake up multiple times in the night. I struggle to get back to sleep. I'm tired.
I'm sleepy. I'm exhausted. I'm stretched. I'm making just enough money. I'm not hungry. There's nothing I want to buy. Spending money on anything that isn't a retirement goal, or indeed putting money away for the future is the only thing that I am interested in doing, so that one day, in perhaps, the very nearest future, I won't be so tired anymore.
I miss writing. I hope you miss reading.
Meanwhile, on the HIVE front - I have read the news that HIVE trading pairs will be delisted from Binance shortly. There is much discussion (ongoing) that off-ramps cause Hive to bleed in terms of its value, with people who sell hive the moment it enters their grubby mits.
Perhaps the removal of a prominent off-ramp will stem the bleeding, but perhaps also people should realise that the underlying function of hive - writing, reading, engaging, making friends (or enemies) is not linked to its price.
Perhaps it will also see such people vanish from the platform, until we're a few dozen souls being sincere in a small corner of the world.
Whatever does happen, it's been a ride, and one that I don't want to get off.
😄 We started the job on similar month and it has been adjusting since. I am looking for a noise cancelling headphone as I have so many meetings recently, is that Sony or Apple?
Sony XM4. The mic quality is not the greatest, but noise cancelling is amazing. The xm5 and xm6 are allegedly even better.
I had a hunch it was one of those XM considering the models. I mean considering the price, even XM4 would still be better than something on the budget range 😃
I got the xm4s when they were the latest ones out. I love them!
I have the same headphones. My favorite thing. I can't live without them.
I'm sorry it's just a slog right now. Gutted for you. There has to be another way.
Also for Hive. Xx
They're such incredible headphones. They make music sound so good that I feel bad that other people cant enjoy what im listening to at the same time with the same fidelity.
Oh my Dad bought this really exy pair with the compo in the last months of his life. I have never, ever heard music so crisp and alive! I didn't believe him til I put them on. They were wired though.
You're definitely missed, writing and energy.
I stopped working Mondays years ago, that helped a lot with that relentlessness. Is that a possibility?
Not at this stage. Perhaps down the line, but the cost of everything keeps going up.
Yeah, I may have to get a Monday job at this rate.
Whats your job? I miss your splinterlands streams.
Reading your post reminds me of this:
I work for an insurance company now, doing back office tasks.
It's good to see you writing again! The description of your daily work routine reminds me so much of my own before I transitioned out of the day job. Looking back, the work routine made the years pass very quickly, now being semi-retired, the days sometimes seem to stretch on forever (but, strangely, the years still rush by).
Unfortunately, us Americans lost access to Binance years ago. As the token prices fall and stagnate it becomes clear to see who's here for the pleasure of writing, reading, and interacting. Past price dips have always been like a cleansing of the platform. I don't remember such low sentiment here but I hope Hive survives. I write on other platforms but can't imagine a world without this place. There's nothing quite like it.
It really is the perfect platform. Not really a raised middle finger to the legacy kyc internet dominated by algorithms and the removal of agency and free will, but a door concealed in a wall.
Hive has always had potential, but the complexity is a big barrier.
A blank text box and a bunch of strangers can be simply too intimidating for some.
This is the crux of the issue, IMHO. Many people have objectives beyond retaining a paycheck, and thus conniving and office politics were born. I suspect you could be very good at diabolical Machiavellian manipulation were it forthright and inspired by real goals. That doesn't seem likely for you, however. You have sound values that would get in the way.
There are other inspirational motivations that could obliterate the ennui, though, even merely adjacent to gainful slogging. It is true that if the why is big enough we can endure any how, and that endurance can become a thrill ride as each soul crushing feat of endurance is surmounted for aspirational reasons. I hope you can rejigger psychologically to yearn for the daily grind, so that you do not suffer your good fortune, but reckon it a joyous quest you get to daily advance. That seems to be your primary challenge presently.
Thanks!
Edit: I forgot about 4 tens. I dunno if it's potential to you, but going from 5 eight hour days to 4 ten hour days can alter the deal. Folks can even pray to alter it further by attempting 3 ~13 hour days. This can open up relief valves and enable side quests that improve morale IME.
I used to go four day weeks ages ago in my old job and loved it. Don't think I have the option in my new job, but if its open to me I might pursue it.
The only thing I really want to do between now and the casket ( or the organ donation table) is go to London a pilgrimage to paintings, finish my novel, ensure my cat lives out her remaining years loved, and have as many splendid moments with family and cherished friends as possible.
These are all modest and achievable goals, but working towards a scenario when the hours / days worked enable the balance of hours to teeter over to joy than tedium will be grand.
Time is money, money is time, and my budgeting system very much reflects that. I know how much per hour my life costs.
Me: oddly specific XD
J: are they in Australia?
me: yes?
J: that's half an hour lunch break and 7 hours and 36 minutes of full time work that the government says we should be doing.
me: Thirty six minutes. THIRTY SIX MINUTES. Thirty SIX minutes.
brain only partially broke because I like very specific increments and six is not one of them XD
It's nice when you crop up when you can crop up :)
I get 30 mins of lunch, 15 minute paid break, and up to 15 minutes of personal... but if a man's gotta pee and poo, and get water you best believe I see to my needs judiciously. Its how I keep my corpse pallor alive and well.
Those 6 minutes. Those damn 6 minutes
Ahahah
I've lost my earphones and the whole world seems to be in a blur lately.
The hive way is a bit sad but I guess that's just the way life goes.
Sadly I am one of the sellers due to financial issues of final year 😂😂
Maybe you should change your routine. Try and see what would help quell your tiredness..
Earphones / headphones are probably the one thing I would go buy without batting an eye. Music makes everything more tolerable.
I feel you bro. My neighbors' living room is below my bedroom, and they have three children. And one of them seems to have decided what to be when she'll grow up: a human alarm clock 💀
I miss you and I miss how Hive was before dropping below 10 cents. It's become more... boring.