"Worldlessly" started out as a typo in the story I'm working on, but then became a real thing. A proper, prophetic thing, for even as I corrected it, it occurred to me how appropriate it was. Such typo in a story that is, essentially, about not belonging fully in either place. Worldless.
I feel like that a lot, and the more I try to ground myself in this reality, the easier it becomes to give my bonds the slip. Like Bilbo, I'm stretching myself a bit thin. Too much bread, too little butter.
An interesting thing happened, only I didn't know it was interesting at the time. A friend pulled me aside after my yoga exam, said you're a bright kid, but you're trying to stretch into too many directions all at once and if you're not careful, you'll dissipate.
I thought what a strange thing to say, but over the next few months, I felt very much a Thane. How prophetic his words turned out to be. I told him a few months later, when I saw him again.
This week's been one of those weeks.
I even went to shoot promo material yesterday for my classes.
I'm working on an important story, which is very likely a book. I know I said it before. But I had to write a few things to find myself, to then move outward. This one, though, I'm really hopeful about. So a lot of work goes daily into that.
I got a copywriting gig. Who even knew those were still a thing. A Romanian AI thing that could be lucrative. It reminded me how much I loved what I did before, and how lucky I am to have done it so long in the first place. Using AI for corporate wellbeing and organizing. Something that, on the surface, I couldn't give less of a fuck about, much as I am intrigued by AI. And yet. I got sucked into it immediately, got interested, wheels started turning. It's partly how I am, I get excited about things. I also think it was genuinely a lucky fit for me. Shame it's going away.
I got back to PA. After I finished my SAT last year, I found I needed a long break from studying of any kind, which meant weeks went by without me opening the academy website. Still, the tuition, small though it may be in the grand scheme of things, sizzled my cheek. Lucky fit, again. Going through a bit of a rough moment at the start of January, I started a class with a prof I love for comfort. What luck to be able to learn from teachers you view as comforting and overall fantastic. I binged Dr Campbell's last several lectures on psychology of the self this week, then moved to the much-awaited, supremely-exciting new course on Shakespearean Comedies from Andrew Doyle. I had a monstrously embarrassing crush on this man when he first taught Shakespeare's Tragedies a couple years ago, and I was so so happy to hear he was returning.
I got on X. Big mistake, but I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, and now find I spend long stretches of time there without really doing anything. What a bizarre, fun, intriguing little nook.
I may have gotten a bit of good news, publishing-wise (though not book-related). I may tell you more when it's final, though.
After a dwindling end of 2025, I decided I'd put my back more into yoga. I'm trying, reaching out to studios, taking classes, trying to post more regularly on social media, though absurdly not on X because it doesn't really seem like that kind of thing, at all.
The problem with dispersing is, it can be extremely fruitful for short periods of time. This week, for instance, has been tremendously hectic on all levels, but also exciting, inspiring, creative. The trouble is, to focus on one thing, you must drop others. What others. I don't want to drop yoga, since its point was working in tandem with the writing. And I don't want to drop school, since it's such a constant stream of fantastic content. I don't wanna give up the random writing ideas that cross my mind either. Bit of writing money's alright, too.
Maybe I can get Elon to clone me.
Or you can create an AI avatar to handle your social media existence; it's virtual enough to be handled this way anyway :) Perhaps as a barter with that wellbeing and organizing company.
I wish coming was possible...
I find myself close to dispersing at times too😔
so what do you do then, when you feel you're dispering?
Most times it's to gather yourself.
Drop everything. I want it all or I want none.
I'll admit it's not the best of methods...
But it's what I've got😂
Copywriting seems like it could be a fun job. I was an english major for a while in uni, but I am not always the best reader. So I am sure it would be a lot harder than I realize.
It's fairly easy in my opinion and it's more fun than I expected for sure. I just don't know how lucrative it will continue to be, as a lot of people seem to be turning to AI for a lot of the things humans used to do in this field (and everything else)
Yes, that unfortunately seems to be the case.
Pfffewwww, you are buzy buzy buzy.
Uhm, perhaps an over the top quality AI can assist in writing and help in taking the classes?
Orrrrr just shelf something. But what? You already thought through this.
X... Yes X you can ditch! I know how it is with X. Was spending hours a day on it, and then I left it all alone half a year ago. Love it! Only recently, I sometimes open the app, just to get a flavour of the latest news. Use the 'following' channel, not the 'for you'.
I didn't know there was a different feed - thanks for that! Definitely must look into ditching X a bit.
I'm not really at a point where I need help with all the bookings, I'm still growing, and I mostly love it. I guess it's just a busy time (or at least I tell myself that, you know) and it'll ease. Thanks for stopping by.
In mobile X app, at the top, it shows 'For You' and 'Following'. 'For You' channel is where you find X algo's going nuts and pushing all sort of posts from users you are not following. Its also the channel that is selected by default. 'Following' are posts in time order from the users you follow. Many social media apps have these channels nowdays, for Europeans as a minimum (perhaps also outside Europe, but wasn't able to test).
I spent years trying to disprove this to myself. After several years wasted I finally admit this to be true
Yeah, seriously starting to doubt there's an alternative, unfortunately.
Thank you for bring Shakespeare to the board, again