You Are Not ‘Behind’. You Are Just Watching Their Highlight Reel
Stop comparing your blooper reel to everyone else’s highlight film.
You’re scrolling Instagram at 11 PM.
Your college roommate just posted photos from her new house. Granite countertops. A backyard. A golden retriever named Mochi.
Your coworker is in Greece. Again. His third vacation this year.
Your high school friend just announced she’s pregnant. Everyone in the comments is celebrating. You write “Congrats!” with three heart emojis and feel nothing but a sinking pit in your stomach.
You’re 28 and eating microwaved ramen in a studio apartment you can barely afford.
You are behind.
At least, that’s what your brain is screaming at you. And honestly? That’s what it feels like every single day.
I need you to hear something: You’re not behind. You’re just playing someone else’s game.
You’re Comparing Your Blooper Reel to Their Highlight Film
Let’s talk about what you don’t see in those Instagram posts.
You don’t see that your roommate’s house was a down payment gift from her parents. You don’t see that your coworker is drowning in credit card debt from those trips. You don’t see that your pregnant friend has been trying for three years and just went through her second round of IVF.
You see the house. The trip. The baby.
You don’t see the behind-the-scenes.
And here’s what kills me: You’re comparing their carefully curated highlight reel to your messy, unfiltered, 3 AM anxiety-ridden reality.
That’s not a fair fight. That’s not even the same sport.
You know what’s happening in your head right now? You see someone’s win and immediately catalog your losses.
You see their promotion and think about the job application you bombed last month. You see their engagement ring and remember that you got dumped six months ago and still cry about it sometimes.
You’re taking their best moment and stacking it against your worst.
Stop it.
I mean it. Stop doing that to yourself.
Because while you’re busy feeling like a failure, I guarantee someone is looking at your life and feeling the exact same way. Maybe it’s your degree. Maybe it’s your freedom. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re brave enough to live in a new city alone.
You have no idea what people are actually going through. And they have no idea what you’re going through either.
We’re all just faking it. Posting the good parts. Hiding the rest.
The Script Is Broken
Here’s the other thing nobody tells you:
The timeline you’re measuring yourself against? It’s expired.
Graduate at 22.
Get a stable job by 24.
Buy a house by 28.
Married by 30.
Kids by 32.
That script was written in 1987. It doesn’t work anymore.
Our parents bought houses for $80,000. We’re staring at $400,000 starter homes and wondering why we can’t “adult” properly. They got pensions. We get gig economy jobs with no benefits and a pizza party once a year.
The game changed. The rules changed. But somehow, the expectations didn’t.
And now we’re all running around feeling like failures because we can’t hit milestones that are literally financially impossible for most of us.
You want to know what success looks like in 2025?
It’s not linear. It’s messy. It’s starting three businesses that fail before one works. It’s going back to school at 32. It’s moving back in with your parents to save money. It’s pivoting careers because the one you chose at 18 doesn’t fit anymore.
There is no one path. There’s just your path. And it’s going to look different than everyone else’s.
That’s not a bug. That’s the whole point.
Stop Looking Sideways
Okay. Tough love time.
You need to stop comparing yourself to other people. I know that sounds impossible. I know Instagram exists and your brain is wired to compare. But you have to try.
Because here’s the truth: Comparison is killing your happiness. Every time you look sideways at someone else’s life, you lose focus on your own.
So here’s what you’re going to do.
Step 1: Audit Your Jealousy
Write down the last five times you felt jealous or “behind.” Don’t just write the person’s name. Write what specifically made you feel that way. Was it their job? Their relationship? Their money? Their freedom?
Now look at that list.
Jealousy is your subconscious showing you what you actually want. Not what your parents want for you. Not what society says you should want. What you want.
Your friend’s engagement made you jealous? Maybe you want a relationship. Or maybe you just want to feel chosen and loved. Those are different things.
Your coworker’s vacation made you jealous? Maybe you want to travel. Or maybe you just want a break from the grind. Again — different things.
Get specific. Jealousy is a map. Use it.
Step 2: The Horse Blinders Rule
For the next 30 days, I want you to put on metaphorical horse blinders.
Unfollow anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Mute Instagram stories. Stop asking “what everyone else is doing” and start asking “what do I actually want to do?”
You can’t run your race if you’re constantly looking at everyone else’s lane.
This isn’t about being antisocial. This is about protecting your peace. This is about giving yourself permission to focus on your own life without the constant noise of everyone else’s.
It’s going to feel weird at first. You’re going to want to check. You’re going to want to compare.
Don’t.
Just for 30 days. Focus only on your own progress. Your own goals. Your own tiny wins.
I promise you — when you stop measuring yourself against other people, you’ll realize how much you’ve actually been moving forward.
You’re Exactly Where You Need to Be
I know you don’t believe me.
I know you still feel behind. I know you’re scared you’re running out of time.
But here’s what I need you to understand:
Success isn’t a race. It’s not even a marathon. It’s a weird, winding hike through the woods where everyone is on a different trail.
Some people sprint. Some people stroll. Some people take a nap halfway through. Some people turn around and pick a completely different mountain.
None of that makes you behind.
You’re not late. You’re not failing. You’re not broken.
You’re just on your own timeline. And that timeline doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.
So take a breath.
Stop scrolling. Stop comparing. Stop torturing yourself with someone else’s highlight reel.
You are exactly where you need to be.
And that’s enough.
Originally published by me on Medium: https://medium.com/@alex.T./you-are-not-behind-you-are-just-watching-their-highlight-reel-9077403db96e