Man, you sound so much happier than a year or two ago! Hope you don't mind me saying that. I am happy you got out and are enjoying the world.
I knew it was the space I was in that was killing me, I knew it for the longest time. But I just couldn't do anything about it for a while since I was the only person looking after the family dog; sacrificed a lot of opportunity but I don't regret it. Took me a year to get myself back together and make the leap to travel after having told everyone I planned to do so for so many years. At one point my family even said they didn't believe me that I would do it. In the end I didn't even tell them I booked something finally until a week or two before the flight. And I could still tell they assumed I wouldn't actually do it.
I definitely feel the changes. I'm definitely a lot happier, more motivated, and absolutely more outgoing. I've done some crazy things and met so many people along the way. So many stories to tell within just the space of about six months now. Feels like life suddenly kickstarted. I feel like a switch was flicked and suddenly I'm happy to talk to everyone and meet people, no longer feeling any anxiety over it. Actually longing for new connections.
Writing can really help with this stuff, regardless of what it is. I really believe we can shape ourselves into whatever we want. There are certain tenancies we have, towards water or towards fire, but we are our own creations.
Definitely agree there. It's all in our hands, people can guide us and contribute to our wants and successes, but we have to make the moves to create it all. It's all on ourselves. I think that independence and isolation I had for so long contributed to that sudden interest and discovery in everything. When finding something for me became something I could do in my own time and without the influence of others. I think that really helped me discover myself and find out what I liked and who I wanted to be, as well as who I already was and what didn't need changing. Sometimes I think we get too caught up in the idea of flaws when thinking of the self, and not enough thinking on what's good and you're actually doing well.