How my positive thinking is a survival mechanism

in Cross Culture3 years ago (edited)

Some people wonder how I remain so optimistic about life. Some people probably think I’m full of shit. I even have to question myself sometimes.

There is so much to stress over, so many things that could go wrong, and I am absolutely no stranger to being let down. I can’t even count how many people have disappointed me in my life.

So why am I still positive? Is it denial?

Well, no, but I discovered that even though you can't always control your moods directly, you can influence your moods through your focus. You choose a focus that feels good and it will lead to feeling better.

I also realized that things are often pretty open ended. Bad situations have silver linings and even when things are good you can find things to complain about.

And so if I can choose to be positive or negative (based on my focus), why in the hell would I ever want to choose to be negative? It doesn't lead to better results, it doesn't really lead to anything good at all.

I am not in denial about all the BS out there. I just want to focus on the good because it gives me energy to make more good. My goal in life, simplified, is to create positive feedback loops and you don't get those by being negative.

The fact is, for over 3 decades I woke up thinking negative thoughts. It sucked. The only way I could stop feeling awful all the time was to actively change my focus to things that felt good, to turn that into a habit.

And so after a few years, it's relatively easy for me to feel pretty ok, even when things kind of suck. And yeah, I think a lot of things suck, still. But there are good things too, and I am capable of making some things better, so that's what I do, or try to do at least.

It's funny, cause most complaining, I totally get. Most negative perspectives I can relate to more than anyone knows. I just can't let myself go there.

Think of me like a recovered addict. My addiction was negative thoughts. I can't go there, no matter how bad it gets. In order to survive, I have to be positive. I have no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't formed this habit.

Does this all make me a fraud for having a positive response to almost everything despite not always feeling great, or something feeling absolutely awful? I don't think so. I think this concept of using focus to influence our outlook on the world, and designing ourselves into people that we want to be is something that the world could greatly benefit from, and so that's why I write and that's why I try to reach people.

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Truth, negative feelings don't take away unpleasant situation, i've been battling with serious health complications since birth, it's actually an avenue for me to imbibe negative feelings Since it sucks to always be caught up in conditions that are pretty sad and you know, having that feeling wouldn't take that circumstance away, I actually think that sometimes feeling positive is a medicine that we can't exactly explain how it functions or works.

Well if there is any solution or relief, you tend to find it when you are positive enough to work. Bad feelings also put extra stress on the muscles which effect the nervous system. And then there is just an extra level of "yeahhh" lol. I hope your health problems don't weigh on you too hard. If you ever want some help with self massage techniques let me know

Why would you be considered a fraud for choosing wisely?
I have been reading a few of your posts and I know what negative thoughts could do to your body and mind.
I was once bedridden and unable to walk, it was my positive thinking and faith that lifted me out of a bed supposedly destined to me for life.
I was sentenced to such life by the doctors who treated me.
I know what positive thinking can do , so go on believing you are doing so well. You will fly higher.
Much higher than you know now.

Similar situation. I'm so glad you came out of that.

I think a lot of people have a simplistic view on things and put people in boxes. There are some people who think positive thinking means not having negative thoughts. You probably know by now that I don’t feel that way. I think positive thinking requires working through negative thoughts, and even digging into them deeply.

❤️

And there are the others who think you are overly optimistic, and have lost touch with reality. Like you say we think positively against the odds while dealing with the everyday reality.

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Yes we create our own reality and it is up to us to take charge of our thinking, as that is what shapes our world. I am like you, had my hardships and for sure could very well just let the BS take over, but I know what I want and that only I can achieve it. Great post, my friend xxxx
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Thank you for this wonderful piece you have put up. It is good to be positive, because it will make you glow and beautiful. To be negative it could make you weird and unfocus. Keep up with your positive mindset no matter what.