I could easily talk about this Coca Cola right here or sweet things. I could easily talk about a lot of things that would be lighthearted. But if you know me, you know I go deep. For these bi-weekly questions, there’s no pressure to dig into controversial topics or share anything you feel uncomfortable sharing. But I am not good at holding back. If there is room to go deep, I go deep. I’m putting my time into writing articles after all. If I could get away with a sentence or two, I might be a bit more casual in my answers. This one is heavy so maybe next week I’ll choose something a little more silly and funny
here it goes:
There is a stereotype about the USA that is becoming more and more prevalent as the political and social and economic situation evolves. Many would say it’s only getting worse...
The pervading belief these days that Americans are totally divided.. This is a stereotype that is held by both the international community and Americans themselves.
I’m calling bullshit.
We aren’t divided. We have just convinced ourselves that we are divided.
I am sorry in advance if this post seems to go off topic, but I think it answers the Hive Cross Culture Bi-weekly question :
What kind of stereotypes do people have about your country? Do you think it is true or not?
We look divided. That’s undeniable. It seems as if there are two or more sides with totally different ideas and beliefs and world views, and that those sides can’t get along at all, that they are totally incompatible. While we do have a variety of beliefs and opinions, I find the idea that we are incompatible to be utter nonsense. We are two sides of a coin and we need each other.
Our media, celebrities, and trending social media posts have us thinking that the opposite side is a bunch of foolish, racist, destructive idiots. This goes for both sides.
Both sides see each other as caricatures of what they actually are. We all look at the most extreme examples and assume that that is the norm. Then we treat more moderate or more reasonable people on the opposite side as being that extreme, which ironically will push them further in that direction. The media multiplies this effect.
We use labels that we hardy understand, and that usually mean very different things to different people. We also hold definitions to these stereotypes which reflect our own biases. I’m talking about capitalism and socialism (and to some extent progressive, liberal, conservative, communist, fascist, anarchist etc.). I’m sick of these words because almost no one uses them in the same way.
Which definition do we use? The original one which was written in theory? The one which is used by critics? The one which is used by people who are describing themselves? Or the ones who use it to describe the opposite of themselves?
What a mess!
Labels can help us understand things, but these have all become so divisive and confused that none of them mean anything anymore unless you establish some kind of agreed understanding of language first. We have people calling themselves Xxxxx to make some arguments, and others labeling their enemies as the same xxxxx to make some arguments.
But if we get down to the bottom of it, most of us agree on most things, and where we don’t, we have the potential to live and let live, or even better to learn from each other.
We are fighting against an imaginary enemy.
While we are divided on the surface, I’d say that at our core, we are just a deep breath away from a harmonious coexistence where compliment each other.
From the right comes the mind and from the left comes the heart. One on its own is unbalanced, and the two fighting against each other only leads to destruction of the organism. And so sickness is steering the ship, and it permeates both sides in the form of fear.
What can we do?
Detach from labels when they don’t serve us
The more we identify with labels and identify others with labels, the more danger we put ourselves in of misunderstanding or causing misunderstanding. Speak in simple terms that focus on cause and effect, problem and solution, and avoid troublesome words wherever possible. This is how Andrew Yang succesfully pitches a socialist idea to a bunch of capitalists. Good on him. He wasn’t fooling them or brainwashing them, or bringing them over to the dark side he was focusing on needs and potential solutions. Most things are in a grey zone and he understood this. Were they good solutions? Well, that’s another discussion, but by avoiding those labels, the discussion becomes much easier and less heated.
Stop relying on heroes and idols and well known figures to save us
We can achieve more by focusing on our community than by focusing on the top. Community is manageable. You have way more influence over something small than something big, and in finding your power, your whole attitude will change and allow you to stop feeling triggered and bringing more negativity into the conversation.
Don’t assume we know everything.
If we seek to learn more than we seek to teach, we find there is always something we are missing, and so boldly pointing to one thing or the other as the enemy is dangerous and counter productive. If we promote good ideas from a place of peace, they reach much further than from a place of anger or disdain. By being defensive or offensive, we merely prove that we are insecure in our own beliefs. 🙃
Don’t be a crusader
You can’t convince everyone. Deal with it. The more you push against someone, the more they will double down on the ideas you disagree with. Some people have to figure things out for themselves. Or maybe you have less figured out than you think. Either way, pushing doesn’t accomplish anything.
Realize you are in an echo chamber
This is true no matter what you believe. Whatever media or social media you are consuming is a bubble. It doesn’t express universal truths. Even if it did, to assume that it did would block you from achieving any real growth.
Find common ground
This is the big one. There is so much more common ground than we realize. Most people want to be free to live a life they feel content with. Most people want to feel love. Most people want respect. You might think your political opposite is different, but guess what? They are not. They just have different ideas about how to get to where we all want to go. They have different flavors of similar dreams based on what they believe is possible. Even if they are wrong, you won’t fix anything by demonizing them or cutting them off from dialogue. You’ll only make the problem worse.
“Be the change” Talk less, do more.
Instead of focusing on the bad things other people are doing, focus more on the good things you are doing, and the good that you can find in them. Even if you are exposing corruption, you can focus on the corruption, how awful it is....or you ca
focus on the exposure, how liberating that is.
Be patient with others
Nobody is perfect (not even you). If you want them to understand you, it’s going to take you trying your best to understand them and not letting your “triggers” sabotage that.
I’m very sorry that this post turned into one where I give advice. It’s just that I feel a stir desire to bridge the gap and create room for conversation. I’m merely trying to illustrate how one might go about realizing that there is no need to fight against each other.
On a side note, these days I am learning how beautiful comedy is. If we can make each other laugh, we start off on a good foot. Of course it doesn’t always go as planned and we can’t reach everyone but I think there is a lot of disagreements that can be softened through comedy, if the one making the jokes is sensitive enough.
Pexelimage
hahaha!