English
Hi dear Hiveians,
it's been quite a while that I didn't update my blog again.
There have been too many things in my mind that I just didn't find the mood to blog.
I have been very sad, but life must go on... so I think now it's time to get back my lost spirit.
Anyway writing could probably be some kind of healing therapy as well :).
Today is the 40th days of mourning for my father, making it the suitable moment to make this post. Yeah... now I don't have a father anymore T_T.
At this day there will be another mourning ceremonial at my home and then agian later at the 100th days and 1000nd days.
My father had passed away just a little over a month ago. He was delivered to the hospital at night and passed away the morning afterwards.
He has been sick for a while already, true, but I still didn't expect that just two months after our visit he suddenly passed away.
Moslems will be buried as soon as it is possible, so I wouldn't have had the chance to see him for the last time even if I flew back home right away.
My father wasn't a simple character and had a bad temper, but he has always been a good father to his children. He was especially fond of me, his daughter, and did his best to spoil me so far he could afford it when I was a child.
I remember him riding bycicle with me and my brother to the city center to watch Wayang Kulit (traditional puppet show) the whole night. I was 7 and my brother was 5. Maybe you'd all think it's crazy and irresponsible but it was one of the best memories we had.
You should understand that we live in a small village and I was born at the time where electricity hasn't even reached my hometown. Such shows were one of few rare luxury for us villager for entertainment. The puppet show was performed by the most famous pupper master in Indonesia at that time. The city mayor would always invite Ki Mantep Sudharsono every year to celebrate the City Anniversary.
Unfortunately we didn't have much photos from my childhood cos we didn't have own camera at that time. Hence I can only show you few photos of dad, there's not many physical things that I can use to recall how he looks like. I only have it in my brain.
Here I tried to compile the best moments captured with him in it.
Rest in Peace Daddy... The one being left are all sad, but at least you don't suffer anymore and be sure that you'll always be here in our heart.
Deutsch
Hallo liebe Hiveians,
es ist schon eine ganze Weile her, dass ich meinen Blog wieder einmal aktualisiert habe. Es gab einfach zu viele Dinge in meinem Kopf, sodass ich nicht in der Stimmung war zu bloggen.
Ich war sehr traurig, aber das Leben muss weitergehen... deshalb denke ich, dass es jetzt an der Zeit ist, meinen verlorenen Elan wiederzufinden. Schließlich könnte das Schreiben auch eine Art heilende Therapie sein :).
Heute sind der 40. Trauertag für meinen Vater, was es zum passenden Zeitpunkt für diesen Beitrag macht. Ja..ich habe jetzt keinen Vater mehr T_T.
An diesem Tag wird es noch eine weitere Trauerzeremonie in meinem Zuhause geben, und dann später wieder am 100. Tag und am 1000. Tag.
Mein Vater ist vor etwas mehr als einem Monat verstorben. Er wurde nachts ins Krankenhaus eingeliefert und ist am darauffolgenden Morgen verstorben. Er war zwar schon eine Weile krank, aber ich hatte trotzdem nicht erwartet, dass er nur zwei Monate nach unserem Besuch plötzlich von uns fürimmer verlassen wurde.
Muslime werden so schnell wie möglich beigesetzt, daher hätte ich keine Chance gehabt, ihn ein letztes Mal zu sehen, selbst wenn ich sofort nach Hause geflogen wäre.
Mein Vater war keine einfache Persönlichkeit und hatte ein hitziges Temperament, aber er war immer ein guter Vater für seine Kinder.
Er hatte mich, seine Tochter, besonders lieb und tat sein Bestes, mich zu verwöhnen, soweit er es sich leisten konnte, als ich ein Kind war.
Ich erinnere mich, wie er mit mir und meinem Bruder Fahrrad in die Innenstadt fuhr, um die ganze Nacht Wayang Kulit (traditionelles Puppenspiel) anzuschauen.
Ich war 7 und mein Bruder war 5. Vielleicht denkt ihr alle, das sei verrückt und unverantwortlich, aber es war eine unserer schönsten Erinnerungen.
Ihr müsst verstehen, dass wir in einem kleinen Dorf lebten und ich in einer Zeit geboren wurde, in der die Elektrizität noch nicht einmal meine Heimatstadt erreicht hatte.
Solche Vorführungen waren eine der wenigen seltenen Luxusunterhaltungen für uns Dorfbewohner. Das Puppenspiel wurde damals vom berühmtesten Puppenmeister Indonesiens aufgeführt. Der Bürgermeister der Stadt lud jedes Jahr Ki Mantep Sudharsono ein, um das Stadtjubiläum zu feiern.
Leider haben wir nicht viele Fotos aus meiner Kindheit, weil wir damals keine eigene Kamera besaßen. Daher kann ich euch nur wenige Fotos von Papa zeigen; es gibt nicht viele physische Dinge, anhand derer ich mich daran erinnern kann, wie er aussah.
Ich habe es nur in meinem Kopf.
Hier habe ich versucht, die schönsten Momente, die mit ihm festgehalten wurden, in einem Video zusammenzustellen.
Ruhe in Frieden, Papa...
Diejenigen, die zurückbleiben, sind alle traurig, aber zumindest leidest du nicht mehr und sei dir sicher, dass du immer hier in unseren Herzen sein wirst.
▶️ 3Speak
I am so sorry. That is devastating, loss of a parent. Very hard, and changes you, I think forever.
Not having photos...I didn't have many either, so I compensated by drawing pictures of scenes I remembered. You draw well. I don't, and yet, the process let me 'own' those memories in a way that photos would not.
My condolences to you and your family. At least your daughter got to spend some precious time with him.
Thank you @agmoore for the condolence 😊. Putting the memories on a paper is indeed a good idea. It's even more personal than taking pictures. Maybe I'd try that out.
That's true. It was good that he had spent few quality days with his only granddaughter happily.
It seems that those days gave quite a big impression in my daughter's heart, cos she was also very sad and cried when I told her that her grandpa passed away.
🌷
I think the first time children experience death is the true loss of innocence. They get an understanding of life, and its tragic side. There is no undoing that and it is a necessary stage, sad stage.
I am sorry🌈
Now that you mentioned it, I suddenly thought from that aspect too.
That's true apparently.
Growing up is a good thing... but also kind of sad at the same time.
I regret to know that your dad passed away. This also made me cry so much especially when watching your video. (I know your feelings and this made me think of my dad who passed away over ten years ago...) I wish him rest in peace in heaven. I know he will be in your heart forever, as my dad is also in my heart forever, too.
Cheer up! All my heart is with you and your family now. 😭
Thank you @tangmo . Like it or not, we're now at the age where we would come across such things one after another. We can only try to live our day with our best effort to be happy but at the same time still have a clear conscience while pursuing the happiness 😊.
Cos nobody lives forever...
Everyone will have their time to say goodbye to this world sooner or later.
You're welcome! I totally agree with your every single word. It's the truth of life..... But, sometimes my heart cannot tolerate the loss.
I'm glad to know that you can come across sadness and try to be happy with the present. You have a healthy mind and a great heart indeed! 🥰
Sorry to hear that. But as you said, life must go on.
Tapi setidaknya kalian sudah berkunjung ke sana. Sama seperti ayahku dulu, aku pulang merantau dari Jakarta, gak lama ayahku meninggal.
Keep strong. 😊
Terimakasih, ya :).
Betul, setidaknya masih sempat ketemu anak tersayang dan main sama cucu darinya.
My condolences. Remember the good times, they stay with us forever.
Greetings to your little princess.
All the best, @kobold-djawa, life goes on..
Thank you @zoricatech. You're right. The body is gone but the spirit and memories remained.
Scientifically speaking...his genes are still here with us 😊.
Have a nice weekend.
A sad occasion, but very beautiful memories...
It left a bittersweet tone...
But I'm more relieved that my mom seems to be quite allright.
She's actually what made me most worried cos she's very attached to him no matter what.
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