I'm not happy about this long break from posting. I really enjoy posting on Hive and it also helps me a lot. But sometimes the inspiration isn't there and work has also been very busy lately, and sadly that affects my whole life a lot. I don't want to give all of my energy to my work but I still have a hard time to simply just don't care.
I'm currently on some semi-break though and spending some time at my mom's. I hadn't left Stockholm since I came back there after my summer holidays and I kind of felt that I'm missing the whole beautiful autumn season. But luckily it's still on 🙂 I'm always so amazed by (and also a bit sad about) the fact that I always feel how tense my body is once I actually leave Stockholm. It becomes so obvious to me that I'm not able to relax in my own home.
I have been back there for a year now and I have really been trying to do what I can to have a better experience this time. But I can't shake the feeling that I don't want to be there. It's just not the right place for me. And I think one year is enough time to try to make something work. So well, where will I move? I guess I have to wait and see for some time since I'm not vaccinated and in many countries, it's not really possible to do much at all then. In Sweden, at least there are no vaccine passes, at least not yet.
Maybe I'll finally take the step and start to invest in my (future) cottage next year. I have been hesitating for years since I can't imagine myself living there full-time. So it seems like a rather expensive personal 'retreat' for me and also a lot of work. But well, every time I spend some time there, I just enjoy it. I feel so connected. At ease. There's definitely a feeling of abundance there. And I don't have that feeling a lot. But then I start to second guess myself. Thinking it's just some unrealistic dream I have. That I actually could feel happy there. And I'm worried I would spend all this money on something just to find out it was a mistake.
But then I also start to think. What is life if you don't take any risks? After all, there is so much I want to experience in my life and it will not happen if I just stay where I'm and live in my current status quo. I'm not saying I haven't taken any risks so far in my life. Quite the contrary I would say. I guess it's just time to remind myself not to stop. And to start to feel again that there's still time. It's not too late. (Yes I have experienced some mid-life crisis I guess, it was not easy to turn 40).
As some of you might remember my mom also has a house close to where my cottage is. And yesterday we went there to measure the future bathroom. Tomorrow we have an appointment with a bathroom planner and I'll help mom to design the bathroom. I'm quite excited about this and also the fact that there will be a bathroom in that house. It will definitely make it easier for me to spend time there.
I'm actually also really looking forward to the fact that I will (hopefully) have completed a comprehensive coach training by the end of the year. It's been 2 years of really hard work and hopefully, I'll start to reap the rewards. I'm also looking forward to how much time this will free up for me. So I know, I'm moving forward with my life and plans more so than I actually acknowledge. I just feel it's time for me to take the next step. I'm actually well prepared and I have been working towards changing my life for a long time already.
Change doesn't happen overnight, it's a process, and it usually takes time. For some major changes in my life though, I really start to feel the big shift is approaching and I just need to remind myself of that. And to be prepared to receive and see all the opportunities that present themselves.
I'm also well aware I have some limiting beliefs that hold me back. At least I know what I have to continue to keep working on. But that's just life and deep down I know I have the capacity to have everything I want. The biggest obstacle is my mind and my mind is also my greatest asset. In a way, you simply have to love that fact. Life sure gets easier that way.
Thanks for reading 🌸
Love and blessings to you all 💚
It's wonderful how you write about the rejuvenating facts of nature and Biophilia. Shortly before sunset I usually go for a walk and it's like recharging. It's get very foggy for walks at night. Big cities are nice when there's a lot happening? But the question why one would trade a big city for the country might become one to take serious when our body needs rest and to be at ease from all the extra stimuli? Being around this community here on hive and maybe a reflection of it in real life, I feel that I growing food and having a garden for the next season seems a soothing plan. How about you? Maybe i'm just getting older and craving for some peace?
I found out last month that I can't ( really ) relax in ( big ) cities and longer, after 3.5 years in the Portuguese country side.
There's just so much noise, pollution and stimuli. Makes it hard to breathe. The contrast with my housing in Portugal ( and the half a year on Canary islands in 2016/17 ) is huge.
Nice write up and I'm happy to pick up on some excitement in there. Cool to hear that you are gonna help with designing that bathroom!
Sending you a big hug :<)
Yeah, I understand. That plays a part of course. That Stockholm is a rather big city. It's more than that fact though. I never felt this way about Berlin. I have started to entertain the thought of moving back there, even if it would be more temporary. But I'll wait and see how the whole situation with the vaccine develops.
Yes the bathroom 🙂 I just wish I would have more time to actually help. But I'm doing what I can 🙂
🤗
Hi @mamrita! I can see from your writing that you are at an existential crossroads, and I understand you, it is not easy to make a decision that can be very important and definitive for the rest of our life. However, this place you show us, where your cabin is located, is precious, placid, beautiful, and allows you to connect with Mother Earth, of course, it all depends on your interests, needs and aspirations. It is important to make a balance, an inventory of everything you have, and then see what you want in your life. Ask yourself, where would you live if you had all your financial needs solved, maybe this will help you a little to clarify that doubt. Greetings.
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I really like your invitation
I will definitely feel into that 💚
I won't get tired if I have that view either!
Thanks for stopping by 🙂 It is a nice view indeed 💚
That cottage is so cute. If you feel peaceful there you should keep it. What a great place.
We have been thinking of making a sauna. Or maybe splurging and buying a barrel sauna. But BTC needs to rise a bit more ha ha.
It's hard being the kind of person that wants to progress and grow. How easy life would be if we were content to remain the same. I think we will always be in flux and that's okay. At least it makes life interesting.
I've been battling my limiting beliefs of late. I tend to put obstacles in the way of my dreams. I don't know why. Maybe I'm scared. I'm looking forward to more space next year to work on that.
Xx
Well it's not mine yet but I have talked to my mom and I think I'll move forward next year with these plans, that's quite exciting actually 😀
Yes, Bitcoin, I'm also waiting for that rise 🙂
I agree, it makes life interesting, not always easy. But I couldn't imagine it any other way...
I'm so happy for you and your job situation next year. I'm planning something similar. My current job contract is only until the end of the year anyway.
xx
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