Respect mate for posting this. That's some crazy visions; I have never experienced anything so visual and immersive outside of a dream state. I think we all struggle with the balance between ups and downs and what is an acceptable range of emotions to express. The tendency to block rather than work though emotions is very real. I am likely (hopefully) half way though my life but still have a long way to go developing my EQ; not sure one ever really gets there. We thought we were a super mentally and physically resilient family but living on a boat for two years in confined space, with hurricane season, and the pandemic raging and of a nationality who had locked their own citizens out, became like a pressure cooker and a difficult emotional time for our family. You learn what you're really like in situations like that; as apposed to what you think you're actually like.
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I honestly can't imagine what those kind of conditions would do to me. The fact that you are home now, alive and well, is testament to your emotional strength. There's no way anyone would be expected to be ok with those conditions. You'd be entitled to any feelings of stress, anxiety, or outbursts of frustration. I really do commend you and your family on your resilience during the time on your boat.