It looks like you're really going through it. As much as it sucks to say it, this is what getting older is like. As we go on there's less and less people around us and then we find ourselves (more or less) alone.
Like you, my deepest connection is with caffeine. Without coffee and energy drinks I am a shell of a man, angry, maybe a little psychotic...
Pretty much. It sucks but just as you said that's what getting older is like. Coffee always help, it always will!