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RE: “Narcissus and the Goldmen” or “My Life as a Bloodbag”

That was a very interesting and enjoyable read.... You made me do a few things, like checking what gaslighting is (ghee, really? are you that bad hahaha) and your sculpturing (you've done the professional house design con-structural thingy as well). WOW, the sound of this band of yours 'Narcissus and the Goldmen' is for sure something that could've done well, I liked what I was hearing at least :) Though I never played in a band, am not a musician of any sort, I relate to what you say about all members in the group shall take their responsibilities, ie being team players. Wether it are the recreational drugs or anything else that makes someone not so reliable, doesn't matter in the end. The darn thing is that those we believe are super in what they do, may in reality not have the needed personality to contribute to the project in a positive and sustainable manner. Have a few of those experiences where I wanted something to work with a small group of good people, but in the end it didn't because of the lack of passion which resulted in not being there when one need to be there. All that leads to frustrations and eventually to a breakup. Seems you are the creative guy from left to right with not only the stone sculpturing, but also the iron thingies I see on your website. Any chance you gonna pick up this type of art while in Portugal? Or maybe trying to create a new band?

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That’s the crazy thing, I don’t really know if I was doing that to her or not! Certainly not consciously. that’s actually one of the techniques That is used by someone gaslighting is to literally accuse you of the things that they are doing so you feel like they are the victim and you are the one causing all the negativity and at the same time it makes you think you’re losing your mind. Crazy stuff.

I definitely want to get a band together here, I haven’t been able to bring my bass over yet because I don’t have a longterm housing situation and lugging that thing around can be really complicated when traveling so I’m practicing trombone and waiting. Hopefully that can happen soon and I can fly to the us and back before they start forcibly injecting dna modifying “vaccines” into people.

As for the sculpture, I’ve been wanting to get back into that for years now but same situation, I need a place. It’s messy and I need tools and materials. It also aggravates my carpal tunnel which is really a Bummer. After a few years of stone masonry I could barely close my hands and they shook and hurt like crazy. It’s not so bad with the softer stone like alabaster but still given enough time it gets bad.

The psychology of humans is kinda difficult to grasp. We do things unconsciously which are also driven by our conscious thoughts. I remember - a few years ago - when I was in a relationship I really wanted to succeed, at some point I started to act in a way (mostly unconsciously) that didn't help to keep the spark going. Obviously, it was not meant to be, but I didn't breakup since consciously I thought: "This is the girl I shall keep in my life; We have so many interest in common!" Whatever I wanted, the reality was we broke up, because we had to. I simply couldn't except some of her basic characteristics which are deeply grounded in ones psychology. Too bad I had to let her go, and still think sometimes: "What if I would've done this or that?" But in the end, I dont think it would've worked out due to miss match of basic nature and needs of both of us.

Living like a nomad is not the best to get things going that requires space. Though I can imagine it gives a great feeling of freedom, one can also view the nomadic life as being robbed from some freedom. Unless one can afford a big trailer, caravan or something, or a boat of decent size. Hope you'll find a place that you can call home so you can pick up those activities that require such place. Until then, I'm looking forward to all your stories you are creating while living the nomadic lifestyle and you adventures in the space of music :)