Narcissus and the Goldmen
While playing with Groove Service, I was getting really into singing and playing the golden oldies like “Body and Soul” and stuff made famous by Chet Baker. Groove Service wasn’t really the ideal outlet for this sort of artistic expression; if you read my article about that group and heard us play, you might see how those guys were in a bit of a different place musically. So I recruited some other guys that I really enjoyed playing with for a side project. This drummer is one the most sensitive percussionists I’ve had the pleasure of playing with and the guitarist is just impeccable. They’re also two wonderful human beings and I miss playing and hanging out with them a lot.
I named this band after one of my favorite novels “Narcissus and Goldmund”, definitely a must read. Coincidentally I am a bit of a sculptor, (read the book for the reference) and you can check out some of my work here: https://davebassdp.wixsite.com/turpitude. It’s all pretty old as I haven’t held a chisel in years but I sure do miss that as well...
This group didn’t really do much in terms of gigs, though we really should have. My fault really as the front man. I think that if I had stuck around Santa Cruz we would be doing quite well by now (that and if the drummer had laid off the recreational substances). The absolute sweetest guy I know; drugs should not be a crime but they do need to be used responsibly for sure. They do tend to make one a bit irresponsible when taken to extremes as well which makes accountability as a band difficult.
I did most of the arrangements for this group (also did the recordings and production seen here), we got a bit funky as you can see in this version of “Body and Soul”:
but mostly we kept it pretty chill as you can witness in this version of “What a Difference a Day Made”:
My Life as a Bloodbag
Sometimes looking back at those days can give me such heavy nostalgia it hurts. I guess we always tend to remember things as better than they were (at least I do), there were plenty of challenges for me then like being in a relationship with a vampire. For real, no fangs, but in Santa Cruz these things really exist. I mean I don’t think she does it on purpose, I really care about her and I think she is a fundamentally good person who has been dealt a really shit hand. But still. That shit is rough.
Sometimes I would lie awake in bed next to her with the overwhelming sensation that my body, or parts thereof, was expanding to 3 or 4 times its size and also density, like some stone giant. I was sure at the time that something was trying to possess my body. Which may or may not have been from her, honestly, where she was living was an artist residence (poor people housing of course) that had been built on top of an old tannery that had been built on the site of a native american grave yard. Super bad vibes there and some really, really messed up shit went down there while I was sleeping there one night. Nightmare type stuff.
I wanted that relationship to work out really badly, partly because the sex was great and I liked her a lot when she was herself and not being controlled by a demon, but also because she had a lot of musical potential and the few times we were able to play together without her freaking out were really stellar. Her original stuff was great but for some reason she wanted to be a jazz singer. Which was not her best idea. We actually met in a jazz class at that community college (despite being in our early thirties we were some of the youngest people in that particular class, hah) and we were so into the standards at that time that half of our conversations were in song lyrics. Sometimes we could communicate just by whistling bits of melodies to each other we were so deep into that shit.
Past is passed and that past needs to stay where it is because, while I learned a whole lot and grew much from the experience, she nearly drove me nuts. If you’ve never heard the term “gaslighting” you should look it up. Funny because I learned that word from her, accusing me of it. Thats the way that shit works though. Beware of redheaded scorpios. Whew.
Unicorn Chaser
Here’s some more music from The Goldmen to clean your palette after that harrowing tail:
“The Nearness of You”
Here’s a little preview of whats in store if you check out my sculpture website:
And:
And more! ;)
That was a very interesting and enjoyable read.... You made me do a few things, like checking what gaslighting is (ghee, really? are you that bad hahaha) and your sculpturing (you've done the professional house design con-structural thingy as well). WOW, the sound of this band of yours 'Narcissus and the Goldmen' is for sure something that could've done well, I liked what I was hearing at least :) Though I never played in a band, am not a musician of any sort, I relate to what you say about all members in the group shall take their responsibilities, ie being team players. Wether it are the recreational drugs or anything else that makes someone not so reliable, doesn't matter in the end. The darn thing is that those we believe are super in what they do, may in reality not have the needed personality to contribute to the project in a positive and sustainable manner. Have a few of those experiences where I wanted something to work with a small group of good people, but in the end it didn't because of the lack of passion which resulted in not being there when one need to be there. All that leads to frustrations and eventually to a breakup. Seems you are the creative guy from left to right with not only the stone sculpturing, but also the iron thingies I see on your website. Any chance you gonna pick up this type of art while in Portugal? Or maybe trying to create a new band?
That’s the crazy thing, I don’t really know if I was doing that to her or not! Certainly not consciously. that’s actually one of the techniques That is used by someone gaslighting is to literally accuse you of the things that they are doing so you feel like they are the victim and you are the one causing all the negativity and at the same time it makes you think you’re losing your mind. Crazy stuff.
I definitely want to get a band together here, I haven’t been able to bring my bass over yet because I don’t have a longterm housing situation and lugging that thing around can be really complicated when traveling so I’m practicing trombone and waiting. Hopefully that can happen soon and I can fly to the us and back before they start forcibly injecting dna modifying “vaccines” into people.
As for the sculpture, I’ve been wanting to get back into that for years now but same situation, I need a place. It’s messy and I need tools and materials. It also aggravates my carpal tunnel which is really a Bummer. After a few years of stone masonry I could barely close my hands and they shook and hurt like crazy. It’s not so bad with the softer stone like alabaster but still given enough time it gets bad.
The psychology of humans is kinda difficult to grasp. We do things unconsciously which are also driven by our conscious thoughts. I remember - a few years ago - when I was in a relationship I really wanted to succeed, at some point I started to act in a way (mostly unconsciously) that didn't help to keep the spark going. Obviously, it was not meant to be, but I didn't breakup since consciously I thought: "This is the girl I shall keep in my life; We have so many interest in common!" Whatever I wanted, the reality was we broke up, because we had to. I simply couldn't except some of her basic characteristics which are deeply grounded in ones psychology. Too bad I had to let her go, and still think sometimes: "What if I would've done this or that?" But in the end, I dont think it would've worked out due to miss match of basic nature and needs of both of us.
Living like a nomad is not the best to get things going that requires space. Though I can imagine it gives a great feeling of freedom, one can also view the nomadic life as being robbed from some freedom. Unless one can afford a big trailer, caravan or something, or a boat of decent size. Hope you'll find a place that you can call home so you can pick up those activities that require such place. Until then, I'm looking forward to all your stories you are creating while living the nomadic lifestyle and you adventures in the space of music :)
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