Some time ago I had taken care of a boy from an orphanage. I offered him a room in my apartment on every day free from school (agreed with the orphanage - on school days Oskar had to be back there).
Now Oskar has turned 18 and as an adult can decide for himself. His first adult decisions - in my humble opinion - were not very well thought through. He:
- dropped from school
- resigned from a not-too-bad part time job
- chose to live “here and there”, with some unspecified friends, rather that at my place (he can't stay at the orphanage as an adult)
In all three points my advice had been contrary to his choices….
Oskar has keys to my apartment, lives “somewhere” and is not able to tell me if/when he plans to return “home”. Any slightest suggestion that either the keys are returned or I know his whereabouts, is met with dropping the call or blocking me as Messenger/What’sUp contact. Still, I trust him and show it by not changing my locks. Stupid me?
My line is that he is not a "bad guy" - I don't think he could rob me. But he lives the moment and is very absent minded. My worry is not him abusing my trust, but simply losing the keys.
Parents, what say you? Mind that I do not have my own children so Oskar is my very first attempt at “parenthood”.
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Hello, hope you're doing great. 😊
Thanks for sharing this. I think you should have used the motherhood tag or so as well because this is a topic that relates to parenting.
Now back to the main topic, I am a father of two in my mid 40s with lots experience, especially the one like yours.
Firstly, I will advice that you change your door keys. Why? This a child you have loved and cared for all a long, he's now of age to make decisions for himself. If he didn't see reasons to come over to your place but chose total strangers, then there's something wrong.
I can understand that you don't have your own child and might have developed strong love for him. You said you trust him, telling you what to do if and when he returns to your home is a tough one already, but at this point, don't play emotion games. Just make sure you are doing the right thing and won't regret it.
thank you, much appreciated
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