Years ago we gave my daughter a car, our 'old' car, which wasn't old at all. We were just trying to help her. It wasn't the car she wanted. She sold it, put a few of her own dollars in and bought the car she did want. My husband was put out by that decision--I was not. After all, what we wanted was to give her value, to give her reliable transportation. Once we gave the car away, we had no further interest in it.
However, if I had given her clothes to donate to a charity, and she had sold those, I would have been very upset. I would have considered that a misappropriation, an abuse of my generosity. I think it's a matter of being true to the intent of the giver.
As for buying clothes I want: My husband and I are at the stage in life where it seems we won't be outliving our money (you never know, in an uncertain world, though). If I want something, I buy it. Fortunately, there is not much I want. Example: I bought a new pair of sandals this summer because the old pair (8 years old?) were beginning to deteriorate. Problem is, I have new sandals and still have not discarded the old. Not exactly hoarding, but a bad sign :))
When I was 18 Das wanted to get me a Toyota Corolla. I wanted a cool old car
He obliged and help find me a 1971 Valiant. When my nephew was helped to buy a Subaru, he sold it a year later for a Prado. My other nephew just bought my son's old manual Subaru when his Dad was desperate for him to get a manual. Point is, when the heart wants the car it wants 😂
I understand your point about the clothes but I thought of I gave them to the charity shop then it's only someone else that's going to raid it and sell them on depop 😂 I see that all the time where people say 'i have gave this item for free or cheap on marketplace and then saw it for sale at X times the price'. I don't think anyone can dictate what is done with a gift. It's out of your hands after the donation. That argument suits me of course but I've thought hard about it and realise that if the show, so to speak, was on the other foot, I wouldn't care less.
As for the two pairs of sandals, that's just sensible. Wear the old ones until they quite literally fall to pieces, and hehn the new ones last longer! I have trainers with holes I will wear to the death to sva E the new ones, and the new ones I just wear either to work on casual /sports day or say out shopping when I should try not to look too 'derro' as my Dad used to say. If only I have a wing just for my shoes, even if it was just a small shelf for six pairs of really nice trainers, three cool pairs of boots, and six pairs of sandals. Not Imelda, just enough to have a pair for any occasion and to make all the rest last longer, because you can only wear one pair at a time..
Yes!!!Until they fall apart I can use them and save the new ones for those occasions when I'm expected to look respectable :))
You are right...the heart wants the car the heart wants. I guess most kids go through that. At some point they will probably understand it's just transportation. Buy the safest, most fuel efficient, durable car that suits their needs for the lowest price available--that's when you know they've grown up :)
As for charity...you have to pick your charity. I used to work at an outreach. I remember bringing in a bag of clothes. A man came in off the street and walked out with one of the winter coats I brought in. There also is the Neighborhood House. We bring stuff there and people from the neighborhood come and rummage through donations. I like those charities :)
A lot of the charity shops here are getting flack for selling clothes for stupid prices, even cheap clothes that are sold for more than they cost originally. I think these days it's easier to price things because of the internet, so it's hard to find good bargains. Saying that, I bought two shirts the other day for $5 and flipped them online for $20 each. I'm not sure I could make a living out of it but it was good coffee money.
:) You're a girl after my daughter's heart. She has the gift for making $1.00 into $1.25. My mother had the talent too. It skipped my generation.