Well, I was gonna say something else, but then @riverflows went and wrote this brilliant fucking post, and I turned my comment on that into an almost-post. It's not just for writing it, I ramble on and on. But she actually nailed something that's been bothering me a lot lately. So I hope she won't mind.
Starting teaching yoga pretty much right away after my YTT200, I was quite elated at first, and with my first couple of classes going quite smoothly, I was high on adrenaline and convinced it was a breeze.
Now, some 4-5 months later, I'm increasingly doubtful. Not about the practice of teaching or its prospects, but rather my own quality as a teacher.
There's just so much I don't know.
"A young yoga teacher just out of school with not many years under her belt is a gym teacher at best."
As a young yoga teacher (albeit practicing for 12 yrs), I 100% agree. I went to teaching right away, though lately I've been pulling back more and more. I keep thinking how much of it is about my energy, what I'm sharing of myself, not just saying "let's do pigeon now", you know?
Feeling more and more unprepared for it and realizing I've still got much more to learn and build and solidify in my own life and practice before I can teach. I used to think it was about knowing how to structure a class and being a good person. Silly, I know. I realize there's so much more.
And so volatile in a way, too. I don't think the class is a success just because of a good sequence of poses and thoughtful music. Rather, it's about what energy I'm bringing to the practice. If my head is all over the place and I'm defensive and tense, I will keep you at arm's length, and while it may still be an enjoyable class, it won't be proper (in my opinion).
Nobody teaches you how to offer your energy while also protecting your energy and not sinking. Or how to silence your mind and your own life enough to bring something real to the mat, not just show up. Yoga itself should or might, but I don't think as a constant. It's a continuous ebb and rise, which doesn't make for solid teaching ground (for me, at least for now).
Over the past few months, I've come up against so much of what River said. Beginners - I've realized a bunch of times I'm not nearly supportive enough or equipped enough to support someone who's just discovering yoga for the first time. I was looking at my friend struggling (in puppy pose actually!) and thought "yeah but it's good for her". Didn't think in the moment "yeah but she's struggling and how's that good for her". Only later.
Props - again. A struggle. I've taught a couple of recurring people how to use them and how to listen to their body in a way where it's not "their yoga", but is still tailored to their needs and capacity. But it's hard. I don't always remember. I don't use them much myself, which can be deterring for a beginner to keep using aids during class, which again is counterproductive. So much shit to consider.
Saying where we're going, again, doesn't occur naturally to me and I forget - I have been told it would be more helpful, esp to people who are just discovering yoga. I tend to anticipate (usually correctly) which pose is being set up from the first words, and forget it's not always the case for others.
Personally, I felt my own YTT could've focused on methodology in a different way, which it didn't, and I now notice lacks.
One thing I've changed in my classes is I try to be more real and closer to the practice. I used to structure ahead of time a lot more out of fear, but I understand it's also about what I'm bringing specifically, not just constructing a pretty-sounding, technically correct class.
That being said, I realize so much is lacking. My own practice is dwindling, I've drifted off a bit in my interest. I just don't know so many things. And it shows. Even I see it when I'm guiding. It's panto, but I've got a long way to go before I actually feel confident (and presumably learn how to teach well and find something consistent and authentic to give others).
Right now, though, and I think this is the case for many new teachers, I'm mostly just trying to "remember the words" - to tell you about the props, and say trust your body, and all. Not inauthentic. I do believe this stuff myself and practice it, but it's more like a friend talking to a friend at this point for me, than anything resembling a teacher.
I'm still trying to figure out what I have of myself that I can reasonably offer to a student. Moreover, I've still got so much of my life I'm trying to define and understand, it makes for unsteady ground for teaching. Not to mention the many ramifications of the question,
What do I have to offer of value to someone just meeting me (on the mat)?
It's a real humbling exercise, in a way, though frustrating also, realizing there's so much to go, so much I have yet to learn, experience, and understand. The ongoing flow of the journey of this life.
Thank you, my friend, for nailing so perfectly everything that's been hovering overhead.
Few artists have helped me understand myself better than Warren Zevon, hence the title, off of one my favorite albums of his, trying as I am to remain chivalrous to strangers met along the way.
Hi there! I haven’t read riverflow’s post yet—I will—but I wanted to share a few thoughts that came to mind when I read yours, before they get influenced by that powerful piece… okay, here goes:
Yes, I’ve always thought that a young yoga teacher is more of a facilitator of the practice. Still, I’ve always had this question: shouldn’t the person teaching us be someone with deep experience—not only in the physical practice, but also on a spiritual level? A yoga master enlightened, ascended… human, yes, but carrying a different kind of energy... I’m not sure if I’m making myself clear… it’s just that this guide is meant to open doors for us—doors that have been inaccessible until that moment. And to open those doors for us, they must have already opened them for themselves. That’s it, really.
Sincerity is the true beginning. And don’t judge yourself, don’t struggle either. I believe that through your own flow and your own learning, you’ll be able to guide your students.
Thank you. I think I get it and even more, that I agree. :) I'm consumed much by my lived experience -it comes with being primarily a writer, I suppose. As such, I don't really bring 'enlightened yogi' energy to the table - the two don't mix well. I do try to bring my truth, and hopefully, as you said, it helps somewhat. There are still things to learn, though I believe that comes with practice, also. Thank you for the reminder not to be too hard on myself and the beautiful light that shines through your words <3
I am a primary school teacher. I am almost 60 years old. I teach children language, literature, and history. All my life, I have doubted that I am a good teacher. When I look back on my day, I often think that something could have been better and that I should have done it better than I did. If you doubt yourself, I think that is right and normal. Only a complete fool never doubts himself.
(I already wrote to you about why I started following you on Hive. I will comment on things from time to time, but I promise not to comment on everything and at any cost. I don't comment to beg for your upvote.)
I think so too, in a way. I guess you also grow a lot from practice and learn along the way. :) I taught in elementary school and high school a couple of times (in place of teacher friends - the law is a bit loose here, I guess), and it seems difficult (but also rewarding), massive respect for people who do what you do :)
In theory, only university graduates with a teaching degree should be allowed to teach here. But this profession is not attractive in my country. There are few teachers, so there are many loopholes that allow people with secondary education or university graduates who are not teachers to teach.
Thank you.
I believe it's similar here..