I’m lucky enough to still have my dad although the situation is a little different for other reasons, I wish I could have as close of a relationship with him as I used to.
I know that those moments like the fight are tough to hear because we don’t want to remember them but we do. As I’ve gotten older and have my own son, I remember some of those silly fights and how they didn’t need to occur but they did because we were headstrong. I see those same things in my son and the good thing is is that it’s part of growing up. As long as we don’t let them define us and destroy us these are natural parts of it as I’m sure you know with kiddos of your own. It is tough for sure but I wouldn’t beat yourself up about not apologizing.
I have fond memories of my grandfather who I spent a lot of time with and it’s sad that he passed but the best part about it is that he was able to pass some of his personality and knowledge onto me, which your father has passed a lot onto you. I think things like that certainly help us deal with the loss and challenge of not having them there for us.