Can you see it in the picture? No?
Look again! No, no I'm not reading fortunes in coffee cup froth.
Can you see it now? Still have no idea what I’m talking about?
The line on my nail. Not that noticeable right? First time I noticed it, I tried to wipe it off thinking it was pen ink. It didn’t go away though. Then I looked at my nail closer and realised it wasn’t on top of my nail at all, it’s INSIDE my nail.
Thinking back...I didn’t remember injuring my nail by closing a door on it or anything like that, so what’s up with the funky line in my nail you ask.
After two days of trying to ignore it thinking it would go away, I finally took the matter into my own hands and headed to old faithful. No, I didn’t go to the family GP, don’t be ridiculous, it’s the fucking 21st century. I headed over to Google of course and well, it’s not great. You see I’m probably dying.
I’ve joked about this with friends before about how you have a tingling sensation in your ear and Google tells you you’ve probably got some weird tropical disease that’s transmitted by earwig saliva and you’ll likely die. You got a skin rash from the heat, you’re definitely going to die. Well I have a line in my nail and yup, you guessed it. I’m probably going to die.
So what the fuck is the line in my nail because now I just know that you really want to know. It’s called a splinter haemorrhage. Cool name I know.
Apparently these things can be the result of injury to the thumbnail bed but we’ve already ruled that out. They can also appear due to the formation of tiny clots under the finger nail. Great. That’s never a fucking good sign.
Oh but wait – there’s more!
Splinter haemorrhages can also be a symptom of a heart valve infection. Fucking not kidding you. It’s called endocarditis. Every wondered why all the funky doctor words end in “it is”? Do you think that was done intentionally as a play on words? Anyway I digress.
Fan fucking tastic rice in a poop scoop. Well, like I said earlier, I could be sitting here with a nosebleed and it would also probably tell me that it could have been caused by an aneurism so I’m not going to jump ship into freaking out just yet, BUT on the other hand, I also recently had Covid so who knows. One thing I’ve learned is that if you ever want to find out what’s actually wrong, it’s still the safest bet to just go to a doctor because Google is really shitty at giving you a prognosis nicely. He’s a blunt mofo and gives you all this technical jargon with endless number of links leading you down a rabbit hole of dispair and suffering. Oh and by the way, it could just be that I bashed it while moving stuff into my storage area and didn’t even notice I’d hurt it.
Sometimes I really do think that having all this information at our fingertips (see what I did there??) is a little bit of accessibility overload, on steroids – and not the good kind. So now you know that I have a line under my nail and that there’s simply way too many conditions with a main side effect according to Google of "you’re probably going to die".
I’ll take my chances with the line in my thumbnail, thanks.
I've got a remedy for that, an old gypsy trick for dealing with lines in thumbnails; not unsurprisingly it's called, dealing with lines in thumbnails treatment. I know, it's not a very inventive name.
Anyway, one needs a hammer. Once obtained one places the afflicted dumb on a bench, takes the hammer and hits that mother fucker with all one's might, with the hammer.
From then on, the line on the thumbnail will cease to be much of a problem. It works every time.
Ok, I'm just joking.
Seriously though, that's not a splinter haemorrhage...it's a thumb worm. They nestle under the nail and slowly grow, feeding on your thumbnail keratin, to their full size...you may want to hit it with that fucken hammer before it gets too big though.
😂😂😂
I never knew you went to a medical school. Where else could you have amassed such wisdom?
Oh yeah, I graduated from the Harvard Medical School, the class of 1936, and since then have embarked upon a magnificent career in knuckleheadology.
You must be head of department by now, what an awesome career choice.
I've moved in an exciting new direction, and have been focusing on nutbaggery it is a brave new area of expertise and I'm excelling.
Branching out into new things is always exciting. I'm so glad that you're enjoying your new endeavour. I'll look into it, it sounds like great fun.
I'm doing a speaking tour, world wide, tickets aren't cheap, but I have goodie-bags for all attendees.
Ohh, so it was you, the best graduating student my father always talked about? I just knew it. 😂
Yeah, the smartest knucklehead in the western world.
🤣 ahhhh this made my day. Note to self: Look up thumb worm in Google later just for shits 'n giggles.
Your method seems perfectly sound at getting rid of said thumbnail line and I do in fact have a hammer close at hand 😃
I stumbled upon this method of treatment whilst doing my PhD in kuckleheadery at Harvard Medical School. I was studying hard one night, with snacks of course, and got a headache. I had no Panadol (poor student and all) so ended up smashing my forehead with a hammer, similar to a lobotomy sort of vibe, and what the hell? Headache gone.
Serious, try it next time you get a headache.
🤣 Was the hammer ok? I heard you're pretty hardheaded so thought I'd ask.
Broke in half, the hammer not my head, but luckily I had Thor's hammer handy, gave my noggin a mighty blow and whaddya fucken know, no more headache.
We were just chatting with our neighbor the other day about how there are keys to the different things that are going on in our body and not a lot of people are aware of it because it isn’t some sexy Gray’s Anatomy type shit.
Fingernails and toe nails are fantastic ways to learn what’s going on in our bodies! Our fingers and toes, as well as our teeth, are connected to all kinds of shit in our body it’s remarkable.
I gave Galen a video documentary the other day that I found truly fascinating and if you have 75 minutes of time I would recommend you giving it a watch as well! It can be overwhelming but there’s not a lot more important than preserving our bodies so it’s good to be armed with pretty good knowledge!
I don’t think he watched it but that’s okay. It’s all about putting a bug in someone’s ear on this stuff and when they are ready to take the plunge, they will.
Root Cause
https://rumble.com/v1u5itm-root-cause.html
Thanks for the video, I'll definitely give it a watch. I think that even small indicators like this shouldn't really just be passed off but I always find it funny how Google tends to have a death sentence prognosis for almost everything...there's no occam's razor with that one lol.
I knew that you can pick up heavy metal poisoning from your nails, but never knew what these splinter heamorrhages were, so I've learnt something new. I suppose as we get older there's a vast array of things that we deal with that we didn't have to before.
Yeah the gulag searches don’t bode well in a lot of things. I had an issue two years ago where I had some twitching in my pectoral muscle and it turned out to be a pinched nerve from sleeping on my side too much. Web searches made me think I was going to die from ALS amyotrophic lateral sclerosis which is 100% a death sentence, no ifs and or but about it. It was pretty fucked but thankfully went to a doc and they said I don’t have the other signs of it but couldn’t tell me what it may be from without doing an MRI and shit. I narrowed it down to the way I was sleeping and stopped laying on my side and it eventually stopped. Then a few months ago I laid on my side a lot again and it came back and some of that worry came floating back what if they were wrong lol. Some crazy shit!
Definitely take searches with a few pounds of salt lol
That's hectic. I'm glad that it wasn't that serious, we do tend to blow these things out of proportion but it's human nature to let the worry creep in as well.
Yeah it's wild. I'm glad that it didn't happen, at least not yet. I had someone I knew growing up get it at like 18 or something it was heart breaking. He died at like 23 or 24 so it was a little too personal for me. Still scares the shit out of me.
I knew someone who was diagnosed with it in her 50s and within a year she had passed, it was a very fast decline and very difficult to see, she must have been so frustrated and in a way I felt that her death was a relief for her when it came, so I totally understand that it's personal.
My oh my...Google and their death sentences. 😅😂
There once was a time when I couldn't taste and I couldn't smell anything. It was all emptiness for me. I would have appreciated a pungent smell at that time. And when I asked Google, it told me I had COVID-19, and I believed it.
I became freaking scared for my life as I knew that if it were to be so, I'll be doomed. We have really poor health facilities here, and so to hear that countries with really amazing health practitioners could not even help themselves was so scary.
I eventually got to see a doctor and they just told me that I am sick, but not with COVID, and that my nervous system was down. What a simple explanation. They then gave me medications and I was fine after a few days.
I can appreciate that you were scared, that's one of the main symptoms that everyone was going mad about and don't blame you for thinking you had the worst possible diagnosis. Simple is often the easiest but most correct. I'm glad you didn't have it. I got it and it was pretty awful to be honest.
I'm glad you resonate well.
The doctors will always be the best to reach out to. They have the experience, and Google, not so much.
I cannot say I understand how you felt all the while you had it. I can only say that I am sorry you did go through that. Thank goodness, you are much better now.
Google just talks too much and listens too little, don't listen to Google. Take a chill pill, Emma. 😂
Lol I'm glad that my sarcasm in this post wasn't entirely lost. I'm very chilled but my OCD does not like the fucking blue line under my nail 🤣
Let's just take it as an unique design and style of some sorts, one that sets you apart from the rest. 😬
I remembered when I get biten by the centipedes, I search for some article or medical related what could be the causes and remedy, then the title gives me chill for it say there were chnaces that bite could kill, as I read more it say 1 out of 10 people could have the viral infection, what if I will be part of the 1% lol, because at that moment I felt the pain, haha. Lucky the next morning the swollen gone.
Exactly. It's crazy how you can go from what seems simple to "oh my gosh I'm a gonner" in less than a minute with Google. I'm glad you're ok and that you didn't die 🙂
Emma certainly the nails show the overall health of us humans and always tell us which thermometer how the biochemistry of the human body behaves, I do not think you're going to die I think maybe you've always had that mark under the nail, and it is only now that you observe something like a mole.
I wish you long life and health
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Google may have become easily assessible but it is responsible most of the miss diagnosis in the world today. The cost of seeking health care is not helping either and more people are falling under the bunker of poverty. SO why not google. If only you had a doctor close by you to ask questions hehe.
The myriads of hungry eye catching bloggers on google only want to scare you out of your curiosity and get your attention for their pockets through adds and sale. This is one of the reasons we created a block chain base medical blogging community on Hive you should check it out.
Splinter haemorrhage as you rightly read are occurrences found in few conditions, but they dont exist in isolation to make a diagnosis straight off it for Infective endocarditis.
we still advise you visit a clinic for some review.
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Ummmmmmm weren't you saying that you get lightheaded easily or something to that effect? Fuck. You probably ARE dying. And with my luck my attempt at dry humor over this will backfire and tomorrow morning there's gonna be a post from you letting us know that you died. On the plus side, that post will probably get super-curated and cover funeral costs.
I had a very rude portable massage chair at work slam down on my thumb over two months ago and the damn hemorrhaged undernail scabbydoodle is STILL there. Maybe I'll die with you. Or collect work comp.
Don't play Google doctor!
Keep it old school...
p.s. we're all going to die :) Just not quite yet, so be happy and enjoy the moment
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