（日本語は後半にあります）
【English】
Two weeks have passed since the new school term started for my sons.
My elder son, who has just started junior high school, has begun communicating with various acquaintances through a messenger app. However, the group chat atmosphere already seems tense. In a group chat with about 100 first-year students, a dispute between certain students in their classroom was brought up, and rumors and insults about one of the students involved started being posted. Fortunately or unfortunately, the student who is being talked about doesn't seem to be part of the chat… but essentially, it's still backbiting.
Since there are just under 150 first-year students in total, about two-thirds are participating in this group chat. To think that insults are being exchanged by name in such a place… it’s a situation I could not have imagined when I was a teenager.
In the group chat, light-hearted conversations continue like on a message board, but then something triggers a return to the same dispute topic. My elder son said he was invited to the group yesterday by a friend from his elementary school. With so many participants (and with it being the start of the school year), someone is always saying something, and the notifications never stop. It got so noisy that he muted the notifications, but when he checked the app a little while later, there were already 150 unread messages… I thought, "This is no good."
This level of activity could seriously interfere with a junior high schooler's daily life. At an age when they’re already sensitive to how others see them, there’s no way they can ignore a chat like this. I skimmed through the conversations in the group with my elder son, and it felt like both those posting and those just reading were in a state of heightened excitement. It seemed like some were eagerly looking for the next bit of "drama," while others were anxious, worrying if they would be the next target... Although my elder son was curious about what was going on (which I understand), we decided he would leave the group that same day.
Maybe it was a bit forceful on my part, but I have no regrets. I do believe that communication is something you learn by making mistakes. However, I can't tell my elder son, "It's okay to make mistakes on social media too." I think mistakes made on social media can sometimes be even more devastating than those made in real life. Eventually, my elder son will need to learn how to navigate social media safely on his own, and leaving a particular group isn't a complete solution, but as a parent, I judged that "this group is definitely not okay right now."
Of course, I feel sorry for the student who was being bad-mouthed, but at the same time, I also feel that the students who brought up the trouble, the ones who posted the insults, those who agreed with them, and those who sent mocking reactions — all of them have had a major crash here. I can’t help but wonder, as a Hive user myself: if they knew that what they wrote would remain permanently, would they still have posted those words? 😅
【Japanese】
子どもたちの新学期が始まって2週間が過ぎました。
中学生になった長男はLINEを通じて色々な知り合いとやり取りするようになったのですが、早くもグループチャットは不穏な空気が流れているようです。1年生約100人が参加するグループチャットで特定の生徒同士の教室でのトラブルが話題となり、当事者のうち一人の噂や悪口が書かれるようになりました。幸か不幸か、悪口を書かれている生徒はそのチャットには参加していないようですが… 要は陰口ということになります。
1年生は150名弱ですので、うち約⅔の生徒がそのグループチャットに参加していることになります。そのような場所で、名指しでの悪口が飛び交うなんて… 自分自身が十代だった頃には考えられない事態です。
グループチャットは掲示板のような感じで他愛のないやりとりが続いたかと思えば、何かのきっかけでまた同じ、トラブルに関する話題に戻ったりします。長男は昨日、同じ小学校の友達からそのグループに招待されたそうです。なにしろ参加者が多いので（また年度初めということもあり）常に誰かが話しているような状態で通知が鳴りやみません。うるさいので通知をサイレントにさせましたが、しばらくしてアプリを覗くと、もう未読150件とか… こりゃダメだ、と思いました。
こんなの、中学生は気になって日常生活に支障をきたすレベルです。ただでさえ他人の目が気になる年頃に、このチャットが気にならないはずがありません。長男と一緒にざっとグループ内の会話を見ましたが、発言している生徒も見ているだけの生徒も、ある種の興奮状態にあるように感じました。次の刺激（ネタ）を求めているような感じもあれば、次は自分がターゲットになるのではという不安のようなものも感じるし…。長男もそこでの会話が気になるようではありましたが（気持ちはわかる）、結局その日のうちにグループを抜けさせました。
やや強引だったかもしれませんが、後悔はしていません。コミュニケーションは失敗しながら学ぶもの、だとは私も思います。でも、私は息子に「SNSでもどんどん失敗して学べばいい」とは言えません。SNS上でのコミュニケーションの失敗は、場合によってはリアルでのそれより悲惨なことになると思っているので。ゆくゆくは長男が自分でSNSを安全に使えるようになる必要があり、特定のグループを抜けることが解決になるわけではありませんが、「今はまだ、このグループはイカン」という親としての判断でした。
名指しで悪口を書かれた子も気の毒ですが、そもそもそのトラブルを取り上げた子も、悪口を書き込んだ子も、それに同意した子も、揶揄するようなスタンプを送った子も、全員盛大に事故っているなという印象です。自分が書いた内容が半永久的に消せないとしたら、彼らはその言葉を書き込んだでしょうか・・・と、Hiveユーザーの私は考えてしまうのでした😅
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wow kyo that's a lot lol. when I was still growing up I never had groups that big for school chatting. only now theres 100s on discord so maybe but it's so different
Yeah, I was surprised too. The members of the group chat probably don't even know each other's faces yet, even though they are from the same school.
o.o its ok time to ban him from social media haha
Hi @go-kyo, certainly what you comment on this post makes the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. As you rightly point out it is an age when children are very sensitive to rejection and teasing.
I'm not a parent, but I'm sure you made a good decision.
By the way, the flowers are beautiful 😍.
Best regards.
Thank you.
The teachers at the school said at a parent-teacher meeting shortly after the start of school, “To tell you the truth, I don't want your children to have smartphones.” This group chat made me understand what they meant.
Maybe it's azaleas, but the neighborhood is full of these flowers this season!
I am glad to know that teachers are attentive to children's problems.
And I still think they are beautiful flowers.... Whatever they are called. ☺️
Such beautiful Pictures 🩷💛
Thank you!
Now Japan is full of these flowers.😍
It’s for sure challenging to navigate these types of things! I do remember online chat rooms when I was a kid and the issue is similar now to what it was then. Hopefully your son can navigate these things successfully in the near future!
I started using email when I was 18, and I didn't get a smart phone until I was in my late 20s. Even so, social networking tended to distract me when I first started using it, so I think it would be difficult for my 12 year old son to control. Frankly, I hope he gets bored of it soon😅