Monday, July 4, was the most challenging day of my life. A day that I dreaded would come, and one that I pushed back deep into the far depths of my mind for the longest time I possibly could. No matter how bad things got over the last few months, I constantly told myself that, while time was increasingly limited, this friend of mine would forever be by my side. A friend that I have spent well over a decade with, and reaching into almost every single day for that duration, never really spending significant periods of time apart, never really venturing too far away. This friend of mine I named Myah. She hated the times in which I did go somewhere as much I hated going. There was only ever one time where I did go for quite a long duration of time, and both of us changed. I returned for her, and never left again; only for our friendship to grow stronger as a result.
Myah was an interesting dog. One that never really changed over the decade that she was with me. Even physically, her features remained very much youthful, only recently starting to catch a more grey tone to her coat, still almost near identical to her days as a puppy. I loved this about her, because this feature in her seemed so unique. I have never seen a dog age so gracefully, with such youth to the face, with so much character to it that it made her forever stand out to other dogs. She had these four little spots on her cheeks that were symmetrical, met with one directly in the middle under her jaw. An overly white portion of coat as a result of her mother being an entirely white German Shepherd.
As a puppy, Myah was incredibly intelligent. One of my earliest connections with her was noticing how active she was with her paws, constantly tapping you with them. Finding this adorable and funny, I quickly associated this act with a 'high five'. To which, whenever I would put my hand out, she would high five it. Soon after, I noticed just how vocal of a dog she was, forever skipping around the house and opening doors with her nose, letting out these little barks; our next little connection was teaching Myah to speak: she would bark whenever you asked her to. Making her incredibly excited and playful in the process. These two things never really changed, she always kept this playful nature about her.
Part of her refusal to grow up was met with a state of curiosity for the world that never went. A curiosity that soon reached into me, changing me and making me more curious about the world merely from spending time observing Myah throughout the day. Just watching how she interacted with the world and her surroundings -- one of the last pictures I took of her was her sniffing a flower. A few weeks ago I caught her in the garden next to a hedgehog, completely unharmed of course. I would spend my mornings just watching her from the kitchen window, as she would sit right where the grass began and watched the birds that flew in and around the garden. Occasionally taking not of various scents as her nose waved around the air. Other times, she would go under a small tree and bush, which became her own little den that nobody else ever went into. A corner of the garden that gave her shade, and full view of everything and everyone.
This was no surprise, though. Myah prioritised comfort in the strangest ways. She would forever find the strangest ways to make herself comfortable, even if it didn't make much sense. Resting her head wherever she could, even if she was standing, or sitting. She would always try to get up to the sofa or my bed, of which was always incredibly difficult to say no to. Even recently, I still would let her on them, only for my mother to question how Myah got on there, or how so much of her fur got on there over night. We were pretty sneaky about it, sneaking her on and then she would quickly jump off when she heard my mother coming; or she would just accept what was coming and stay still, if not getting more comfortable and showing those little eyes a bit more.
I never could say no to her. Myah had the cutest look to her and she absolutely knew when to take advantage of it. Despite being so perfect and well-behaved, if she ever did something "wrong", she knew it, and would run up to you, only to bury her head into you, laying on you and getting all affectionate, to cuddle up to you as her way of saying sorry. But of course, she never really did do anything wrong; all she ever did was right. Constantly running into my room to check up on me throughout the day. Waking me up in the morning by running into my room and sitting right by my bed, often falling asleep there herself. We spent so much of our time together just directly next to each other, forever within an arm's reach, allowing me to stroke her soft fur and tell her how much I love her.
She would come and sit right by me, tucking herself under my arm, just sitting there as I had no choice but to stop whatever I was doing and give her my full attention. I never minded this. I loved it. She was always wanting affection, and she never had enough of it. And I could never have enough of her. She brightened up my mood instantly, always making me forget the things that plagued my mind, always encouraging me to be happy and energetic just like her. I could not help but act all stupid and excited around her, every time I saw her. To roam the house in search of her, saying her name. Telling her good morning every day, followed by a plethora of hugs and kisses. Only to repeat this process throughout the day, switching to a good night.
I was never really that idle with her around. If I ever had something to do, it would take me forever to do it because I had the constant urge to just get up and go and see her, which I did. Only to be greeted with those little eyes and paw movements clearly requesting a hug, or more kisses. I would tell Myah I loved her countless times every day. I would tell her how beautiful and cute she was. I really tried to make sure she knew it, because it was the truth. She was the sweetest thing, so fragile and innocent, and just looking at her would often bring me close to tears.
In my insomiac days, me and Myah would get up super early together and go on a little adventure to watch the sunrise together. We would venture out into the countryside, even if it was incredibly muddy or with heavy rain. Neither of us minded. Myah would jump and run into puddles, and I would have no choice but to follow. But if you asked her if she wanted to go outside in the garden during the rain, she'd make it very clear that it was a big no!
We would find a spot somewhere empty and watch as the colours shifted, the warmth of the sun starting to greet the damp. After, we could continue our adventure in the direction of home. Over the years, the sunrises became sunsets; we watched both often, even from the garden together. We would sit next to each other for long periods of time, and I'd sit and observe the very things that caught her attention, together, in silence.
Walking Myah was not an easy task, though. Due to her curious and overly energetic nature, she would often run off the moment something caught her eye. I would spend moments sprinting after her to catch up as she darted off through a field -- sometimes the only visible part of her being those two ears bouncing above the crops. An area that Myah loved in particular was a nearby woods. An area that she just knew the directions to no matter what, and would forever pull towards that direction. A place that allowed her senses to become overwhelmed, with a stream that would sing the tune of constant but gentle motion.
Myah was very different to other dogs. She wasn't very social, and was certainly very fragile. I couldn't help but develop such a protective stance over her as a result. One time, in the woods, she heard and saw a deer, she sprinted off within a fraction of a second, nowhere to be seen. I ran as fast as I could in that direction, but could not find her. In that brief moment without her, I realised how strong of a bond I had with her. She soon returned back to me like nothing happened.
Despite loving her comfort, Myah still liked to have her own space and area to her own. It was not every night that she would lay on my bed, and if she did, it was never for too long unless she had all of the space and access to the pillows -- yes, she would actually leave if she didn't get pillow access. There were often times where she would fall asleep on my bed and I didn't have the heart to wake her up or move her so I could get into bed, so I would stay at my desk and hear her gentle breathing and snoring. She made the cutest little noises, the funniest yawns and barks and groans in attempt to get more comfortable.
One night I will never forget, however, was the first night ever that she fully decided to stay with me. We fell asleep together with Myah curled up into my side. In the morning, all I had was this little head right by mine, with the rest of her tucked into such a small ball. I loved that morning so much that neither of us moved for a few hours, and just stayed there together. It was always more evident that Myah had a slightly stronger bond with me than the rest of my family -- though I must state that she was a dog that loved everyone and could be near anyone happily -- but she would always run to me and spend the most time with me.
It was only after that night that I truly felt the trust that she had in me, and the true extent of her innocent, caring nature. So small, so soft, so fragile, and so sweet. We had such a strong connection before, but never had she decided to stay with someone the entire night.
She had these very human actions and expressions sometimes. Ones that were so specific to particular events, to the point where a sticker pack on Telegram was even made. The two above images were taken recently on different dates. One during a delivery, another during a storm. She would curl her head around the corner to get a little peek, with the face of concern. Whenever I saw that face, I couldn't help but go up to her and place her into my arms, to assure her that things were fine and wait for things to calm down. She also hated when the trash would be taken away, the noise would result in her sprinting into my room and diving on my bed; I would cuddle her until they left and she calmed down, often surprising her with little treats to help. She was too fragile for loud noises.
The day we got Myah, I held her on my lap during the car ride back to my grandmothers, and then for the duration home from Wales back to England. On the way back to my grandmothers, Myah threw up on me. I think that event was the moment that the two of us established our little connection. The event were trust was initiated. I didn't care on bit that I had to sit with dog sick on me, I was just in love with this little ball of fur that seemed so frightened and in need of protection. To be loved and made happy at all times.
I would like to think that I succeeded. I would like to think that Myah had the life she wanted with me, as I certainly had the one I wanted with her. My heart is shattered into the thousands of pieces of memories featuring Myah now. Smiling and crying as I look back at how amazing of a friend she was, and how I could've happily spent the rest of my life with her by my side. To sit out together in the night and look up at the stars and watch as meteors flew over with a glisten to them that lit up the darkness. A perfect metaphor of Myah herself to me. She impacted me so much, saving me, changing me and turning me into someone that knows not to take things too seriously, and to watch the little things in life and enjoy them. To be silly and comfortable, loving to all.
I hate that Myah is now gone. I have no idea how to progress and go foreward without seeing that little face greeting me throughout my day. Forever reminding me to smile and be energetic, to make her happy and see that little face of hers light up with life. Part of my soul is gone with her. Things will never be the same. We grew up together.
I'll never forget that friend. A friend that changed me for the better. That looked at the world with such innocence and curiosity. Always observing, always loving, and always seeking new ways of comfort. With so much life and character, always by my side.
On July 4, Myah left this world in the only way I believe made sense. A way similar to how we met. She went under my arm, with her head resting on my leg as she usually did.
Goodbye, Myah.
Oh my friend @namiks you made me cry with this writing 🥺😞, what a beautiful thing how you described Myah, I could perfectly imagine her walking in those crops where you could only see her little ears and you running after her.
They never go away Namiks, they remain in our soul forever, I would really like to tell you that the pain will pass, but I won't lie, you will only get used to it, however I can tell you that she is not gone, she will be with you always and will give you the strength to achieve all that you did together but now you alone, even when she is not there, try to give the best of you and raise your spirits every morning as you did when you saw her, that will make her happy.
And don't worry I'm sure she knew how much you loved her as she loved you. I embrace you my friend, condolences for the loss of your great friend.💔🙏🏼
This post made me cry, you took us with you on a lifelong journey with your dear friend Myah (love the spelling!) and the love can be felt while reading this. All these cool pictures, she sure was a cut dog!
I know that our pets become part of the family and it hurts like crazy when we have to let them go, even if sometimes it's for the better to let them rest in peace, it hurts like crazy. I can only imagine what you must be feeling now.
I want to give you a big digital hug and hopefully, you will be able to process this bit by bit. Memories will last forever, thankfully, she will live on in your heart forever.
Take care!
I remember when we got her, my family couldn't think of a name for so long. And I thought of Myah. I mentioned it, and they all disliked it at first. But thirty or so minutes later, they realised it really did fit her. It's just such a gentle name, short and sweet.
I've been spending each day looking at old pictures and videos of her, and while I truly hate that she is gone, her life recently was just so different to how she once was: jumping up on fallen trees, sprinting through fields and jumping in snow. She couldn't do any of that anymore over the past seven months. She grew old and incapable of walking a lot. It definitely broke my heart to see that she couldn't go to her favourite places anymore.
I took this on my last day with her, on a very short walk just outside of the house. I did this often still, while it definitely wasn't the same. Just to give her something other than our garden and four walls.
I'm sorry to hear about your lovely dog, Myah. Sometimes, I get more upset over the loss of a pet than I do a human. Dogs give so much back. She sounded as though she was a much loved family member. ❤
They really do. I spent as much time as I could every day showing her how thankful I was to have her with me. The amount of times I hugged that dog and told her I loved her each day is impossible to know. I often joked to people that knew her that she must've been so annoyed at how often I'd run up to her when she's all comfy, haha.
I can remember when I had a dog. When she was at the puppy stage, I wanted to wake her up. When she was awake, she tired me out, so I wanted her to go to sleep! Love dogs.
What a wonderful post, about a wonderful love. I'm so happy you had this animal in your life, and am sorry she is gone. I've held several dogs as they left me, and a cat or two too. That is the best way indeed. Thank you for doing it. I know she felt the love.
I was spending a lot of my time over the last few months crying, especially in the past week as I watched her condition worsen. But her personality and energy never went away. Even on the last day.
I knew that when the time came, I had to hold her as I usually would, and that I could not cry, only talk to her and share my appreciation for her being by my side for so long, for all those great times spent together.
The deepest love, for me, is preceded and followed by immeasurable grief. You'll remember her very fondly forever, a blessing,
Sorry for your loss. I think you gave her the best life, being sensitive to her needs and wants. You would not have wanted her to be sick and suffer, sadly a loss, but the memories are forever.
What a great dogo! I think you shined off each other.
I'm sorry for your loss :(
Thank you. I've honestly never felt loss like this before. It's a very strange feeling. But some aspects of it I have noticed are quite comforting. I no longer fear the idea of dying because it means there might actually be a possibility of something after, and I might get to see her again. And I really hope that is the case.
Here's one of her many fun little expressions.
Aww :< She sounds like an amazing dogga that made your life amazing. It always feels so very hard and so very unfair when they have to go.
She impacted me probably far more than I'm even aware. And I know she did impact me massively. She pulled me out of anxiety, loneliness, depression, and insomnia. Watching her interact with the world extended into me, making me look at things in a different way. Even just by spending time with her in a field, sitting around just letting the breeze run through us.
She was by far my best friend.
I am really sorry for your loss. She looked to have had a good and happy life with you. This is very important, in my opinion.
I really do hope so. I will never forget the way those little eyes looked at me. The way they pulled me in and insisted that I gave her the biggest hugs (and of course snacks).
That's a very nice picture!
This blog, and all the pictures we can find in it, makes it a heart-breaking obituary.
Myah looks like she was an amazing companion.
I'm very sorry to read this.
She really was. Such great fun. Always making me laugh and enjoy life.
Here she is prioritising comfort. Laying on the floor but pushing her head up so that it is on the sofa. Not to forget that she also chose the corner, on a rug.
Condolences.
The unconditional, pure and sincere love that pets give us can only be compared to that of mothers.
I understand you when you say you don't know how many times a day you hugged and kissed her. I kiss my dog more than any human, I feel so much love just seeing her.
I send you a big hug and I hope God gives you comfort soon. @namiks 🥰
I couldn't help but give her pretty much whatever she wanted. It was impossible not to. Here's her convincing me so obviously to let her on the sofa. She was so funny in that way, always making it so clear what she wanted.
Thank you. I've never really been the religious type, but I know I'd do anything to be able to see her again, and I really do hope that when my time comes, she will be there to greet me like she would when I returned home.
Beautiful dog. Terribly sorry for your loss
For me, it was those eyes. This wasn't even that long ago, she wasn't a puppy or in her youth. She just never really aged that much. Always with that puppy look. Always absolutely adorable and capable of convincing you to share snacks with her, haha.
Yeah, that's a lovely-looking dog right there. Could get lost in those eyes. We have two of our own and they absolutely rule over us and eat better than we do. Dogs are truly special creatures
OMG I’m so sorry, I send you a lot of light. Myah was so beautiful and I am sure that she had the life she wanted with you. Be strong and stay calm, you offered her a lot of love, and that’s the most important thing!
Here she is sleeping on my bed. She would get so comfortable, in such a cute pose. All I could hear across the room is this gentle snoring, sometimes little barks as she would dream. I never had the heart to wake her up, so I'd have to tiptoe around the room to do things. I even had to zoom in with my phone to take this since getting up would've made too much noise.
Oh, she was so cute with her lovely poses. Her habit to hold attention is also very nice. She is looking gorgeous in the field. Your words are showing your real love for her, which she deserves. But to lose such a nice friend is a big loss. I am feeling so sorry for it that you lost her but you have a lot of beautiful memories with her. You are lucky that you have had a beautiful pet in your life.
Here she is enjoying her little den in the garden. Just poking out her head to see what was happening above the all the growth. It was cute how much she disliked going out on the cold, grey days, but absolutely loved to spend time in the garden on the sunny days. As if a different world opened up to her.
Man... just by reading the title I knew this post will break my heart. I'm so sad for your loss.
I have an 12 years old dog and I really don't know what I will do when she leave, I just trying to enjoy with her everyday and give her a healthy life.
That was me over the past seven months. I knew the time was coming, but I just get ignoring that feeling, though it didn't always work. I gave her everything and more, really making sure each day was perfect for her. Giving her so much love and affection.
I wish I could say more to help you, but being at that stage myself, it's hard. Very hard. The silence in the house hits you like a train. Entering each room and seeing it empty, no longer making you break out into joy and excitement, and instead remain in silence. It's tough. You're pulled out of a routine you didn't really know you had, and then you aren't quite sure what to do with yourself. You know you don't want to move on, or forget.
For me, I've tried to keep some of that routine, even if slightly altering it. I'll go and sit outside at night still for a few minutes like I would with her. I still get up frequently and go to where she would be if not with me. I'm even quite vocal still and talk about whatever I'm doing like I would when she was around. I'd really integrate her into every part of my life. Even if I was making food: "Oh hey, Myah! What should we have today?"
People find various ways to deal with loss. I've definitely never been good at it. And losing Myah is definitely the greatest loss of my life.
One thing I can say, which others will also say, is that you can only do what you can in the present. To ensure each moment is not wasted, but cherished.
Here is one of Myah's funny little faces after being given a treat.
I'm so sorry my friend, you lose a great being when you lose a pet. More than a pet they are our loved ones and the most faithful.
Definitely more than a pet. I have never even considered having children later in life, but I suspect that the feeling I had with Myah is very much similar to having a child. To have that responsibility, that unconditional love and need to protect. A love so strong that just being away for a few hours would cause concern.
Here she is all wrapped up and weird in my bed. No idea what she was doing with her paws, haha. Almost like a kung-fu pose in mid-air.
This is post is so sweet and so sad at the same time... I'm overwhelmed with emotions. The death of one's dog can be truly saddening and I can relate 😥.
I'm sorry about your loss. Thanks to you, she lived a happy life and you describe her attributes so well, I feel like I've already met Myah. She seems like an incredible dog.
Be strong ❤️.
A lot of people have had that feeling with her. People that never even met her, or those who only met her once. Even our plumber fell in love with her, and he only saw her twice.
But it was impossible not to fall in love with her, especially when she would look at you like this.
Awwn... So cute! 🥺
My condolences for your loss. I hope the time spent together was enough for the both of you. The love you shared has warmed my heart. It sounds like an amazing adventure, experience and growth opportunity. I'm sure that she was happy to have a family and a partner who cared for her, greatly, and I trust that you will carry her lessons forward in your future.
I really have managed to learn from her. All those little things in life that I noticed she would observe, or the ways she would interact with other living things and people. One time she came back inside with a frog. She frog was completely unharmed. Another time I caught her in the garden with a pidgeon. Then, recently, a hedgehog.
She had such childlike wonder about her. Never showing a single sign of aggression. Instead, always with those little eyes looking at you, and a frequent nudge to say that she wanted more stroking, hugs, little kisses, and, well, snacks.
In the evening she would get so excited and come running up to me, she would shake her head in the direction of where I should follow her as she skipped on the spot. I'd get up, and I'd let her outside, and all she would do is go out and sit. Night time was when all the fun animals would come out, and she knew it.
I really have managed to learn from her. All those little things in life that I noticed she would observe, or the ways she would interact with other living things and people. One time she came back inside with a frog. She frog was completely unharmed. Another time I caught her in the garden with a pidgeon. Then, recently, a hedgehog.
She had such childlike wonder about her. Never showing a single sign of aggression. Instead, always with those little eyes looking at you, and a frequent nudge to say that she wanted more stroking, hugs, little kisses, and, well, snacks.
In the evening she would get so excited and come running up to me, she would shake her head in the direction of where I should follow her as she skipped on the spot. I'd get up, and I'd let her outside, and all she would do is go out and sit. Night time was when all the fun animals would come out, and she knew it.
I was overcome with emotion and tears came to my eyes when I read it. What a beautiful feeling you manage to express in every word for her, it is so sublime and beautiful what you say.
How fortunate you were able to have her good company, now there are memories and much more.
Live your emotions to the fullest and then everything will have new meanings.
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Your story is sad. I feel you.
:(((((((((((((
Sorry for your lost. I lost my doberman last year its was heart breaking. He will be up in Rainbow Bridge.
I am so sorry Myah is gone. I feel your loss. I once have a rottie and we were mourning about him being gone for so many years now, he was 14. You gave her a beautful life, an amazing life that changed your perceptions ...what is left are those fond memories of her and you together, cherish them!
Aw @namiks I'm crying reading this. I am a dog mummy of 2 and one is 14 years old now. So this I felt in my heart.
We love them so much much and they love us even more.
Myah looks and sounds like she was the sweetest girl. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Beautiful photos you shared of her, such a pretty dog.
Sending you love and hugs.
I'm really sorry for your loss😢😢😢. If I had a wish, my wish would be to make dogs live longer. Dogs are loyal, cute, friendly, nice, kind, they make our day fun, they are innocent, they have beautiful eyes,they are entertaining, energetic, faithful, brave, calm..... So many words to describe how good they are.
Obviously, Myah was a very good dog, and you had a good relationship. I remember when my first ever dog died (it was poisoned) I cried for days.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure Myah is happy wherever she is.
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Sorry to hear of your loss man! That's tough for sure. I know a little bit of how that is, though always with cats but not dogs. I had a special cat growing up and it was tough to watch her fall apart and I got to snuggle with her in her last day before she gave up that evening.
One of the powerful quotes that I saw recently that moved me was something along the lines of "A dog to us is but a short time in our world, competing with other things but to a dog we are their world." I may have butchered it but I think you get the point. We have lots of things in our lives, including a dog but often the dog mainly has us in their lives. I want to get a dog one day but I don't know if I'm prepared for the eventual heartbreak when they leave the world. It's something we have to deal with for sure but it's a difficult one.
Sorry for you loss.
She looks like a good doggo.
Thank you. She truly was the most fragile and innocent thing I have ever seen. A dog that grew old but never really escaped the puppy phase.