I've been thinking alot lately about human behaviour, and the root causes of why we behave as we do. I think it goes a long way to understanding, shifting blame away from the individual-in-history, and more to human beings as a species. It's not that we cannot help our behaviour, but that if we seek to understand it, we might be able to change it or at least have a little compassion for people who seem to act like assholes. Feeling anger, resentment and annoyance at people for what they do doesn't really serve us - it just turns to acid in our cells.
It started with a conversation in the staffroom during the week (actually, it began with something I read on Hive, but that's another story). Talking to a Japanese-Australian friend of mine (this will make sense in a minute), I was saying that it's a biological imperative to be kind to one another, and I can't understand people who aren't. Why are people so self interested? Greedy? Worse - uncaring about others? We see this with people in charge of schools that don't understand the difficulty of teaching, or with big companies who are more concerned with their bottom line than seeking to understand why their workforce might be deeply unhappy, and how changing the experience of their employees might help their profit margin.
Sometimes it feels as if the whole world cares more about itself that other people, and it feels that is why society appears to be disintegrating.
Surely, we were thinking, it's better for the individual to care about others, so they benefit from this relationship? A kind of 'you bring me berries, I bring you meat' kinda scenario? I clean your cave, you protect me from the sabretooth prick scratching at the door? I just foraged a whole heap of mushrooms, want some stew - if you don't mind just cutting me some firewood?
But eventually we got to the point where we were like wait - no, humanity also needs the people who stray from the community, and don't appear to have their best interests in mind. They're just as important.
They're the ones that tell us they saw another valley with better resources, or new fruits. They're the ones who innovate, forge new paths. World shakers.
I mean some are assholes or motivated by fame or money or don't think through the consequences of what they're doing (I'm sure there's a lot of regrets in tech right now) but the people who seem driven by forces I might not understand or relate to are just as valid in the world.
There's a Japanese concept my friend spoke about that helped me see the bigger picture.
He spoke about the idea of yoku, which essentially means “desire” or “drive.”, but that it isn't inherently bad - it's a hunger or driving force that propels you forward. Without it, we wouldn't get out of our caves in the morning and hunt the mammoth, and we'd starve. Yet if we have excessive drive, we suffer, and by extension, so do the people around us.
There’s a traditional idea that yoku isn’t inherently bad because it can be the hunger or striving that pushes you forward. If you don't have desire, you lack motivation at all. However, if it’s excessive, it leads to suffering - both for yourself, and others.
So balance is needed.
So it's not that I'm angry at the individualists and the people that forge ahead on their own at the expense of relationships and caring for the tribe, it's that the excess upsets me.
Profits over people. The moon before Earth. Business before people are supported to do their job. Money over everything.
But then that's the modern world, isn't it, all unbalanced and teetering on it's feet.
With Love,
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In my opinion, either a person is an empath or not. I have strong empathy and I very rarely harm a person, only a very bad person. I will often give my own to a good person than take something extra from him.
I know, me too, do I find it hard to understand when others are so careless. Thats why I was trying to understand it as part of the wider human experience 🙏❤️
Empathy isn't really necessary to be a good person. I have an abnormal empathy response, but I still know LOGICALLY that helping people is better for my species than harming them.
The people you really have to watch out for are the ones that get pleasure from causing harm.
Yes.
It helped me a lot to start seeing people as archetype groups. Somehow, knowing that an individual is responding according to a larger group program makes it easier for me to forgive people for being self destructive fools.
Learning history also helps me a lot. Things seem a lot less bleak when compared directly with the past.
Yes!!!! This exactly!!!! It helps, doesn't it?
Every point in history has its pros and cons. But we do have climate change and overpopulation ...
Modern life is super complicated :)
!BBH !PIMP
I think we should go beyond respect of others. We should revere others for their unique skill sets.
Some are nothing short of fucking cunts, though, so we can revere their absence. :)
This.
So you need an asshole huh?
Where do I drop my CV?
It is an excess as almost everybody is an individualist these days, out for their own luck and fortune and a lot of times not only straying away from community, but exploiting it. Everyone wants the free healthcare and support from the community, but nobody wants to put in the work to not need it, to not suck up resources that are needed for those who have issues they can't prevent or control. Same goes for all resources.
One can care for the community and do their part and still discover the valley next over because they went on a very long hike. I don't think that egoism is needed to drive humanity forward. There will always be people that stand out and have those crazy ideas and find ways to make them work. And in my experience, it is easier to do so with support from a community. Because not the whole life is about that idea. You can be working on it, but your child falls sick. Or the first version almost kills you. And even though they don't agree with what you're doing, they think it's a waste of resources, they will still help with the little one, or nurse you back to functionality - if you did not neglect your responsibilities to the community.
I've learned a lot over the last few years and one of the big things is that life is all about balance. We need the good with the bad in order to maintain proper order. There will always be times when one gets a hold over the other and it fucks it up. Getting a balanced equation with this stuff is very difficult though! It only lasts for a short while, sadly.