'Mate, your profile isn't doing you any favors.' I'm replying to Spud via Messenger, who has responded to my feeler post for renting the house out next year.
"What do you mean?' he says. I wait. I'm replying to a LOT of people. The rental crisis is real.
The ad reads:
We're hoping to rent out our house to the right people next year whilst we travel overseas, six months minimum, possibly one year or longer. It's on 5 acres with a large garden and would suit someone who enjoys nature and gardening with space for chickens and a vegetable garden for you to use. There is no fencing for larger animals but dogs are okay. It would suit someone who wanted to give rural living a go or is maybe building out here and needs a tide over rental. It's a lovely place to live with a walking track into town and lots of birds. We are hoping that whoever rents it can maintain the garden to a reasonable standard in return for reasonable rent. One large master bedroom and ensuite, two smaller rooms at the end and open plan in middle. Please DM if you think this is your thing - available from mid Feb but can possibly vacate earlier if that suits you.
I have already received nearly sixty replies. Spud is second. His message is short, saying simply 'yeah I'm keen'. I check his profile. He's already moved to the bottom of the short list in my mind because his name is Spud and he can't be bothered to tell me anything about himself.
I prioritize people who send me messages that are detailed introductions. Like this one. I like her. I remember being a single Mum.
Hi, are you open to single Mums? I’m not an expert gardener but would be happy to maintain. I grew up on a farm, my mum is an awesome gardener (fruit, veggies, flowers) so I can go to her for advice. I have travelled a bit and worked in communities helping with seed saving and preparing/ caring for compost and looking after soil. All very amateur but I am interested and I am home 5 days a week, two days working per week either from home and occasionally in the office. I normally work one day a month in the office in Melbourne.
We have a lengthy conversation and gel. She's on the shortlist. Even better is Helen, who, after a long chat, seems too perfect.
Hi! I’m a single 54 year old woman Art teacher/artist/yoga teacher with an excellent rental history. I’m a non smoker, vegetarian, very reliable and I have excellent references. I used to live on quarter of an acre and manage the lawns, veg garden and small orchard alone, If you would like to chat further I can text you my mobile number?
Dream, right? There's a woman with four dogs, a cat, six ducks and nine chickens that I tell politely that I'll be in touch. In fact 'thanks for your reply - I'm creating a short list. I'll be in touch' becomes the standard reply to the ones that don't make any list, let alone the short one. Like the woman with five kids, including a 22 year old 'who likes mowing'. It's my house, and I'll be a prejudicial as I like. I don't trust anyone who just TELLS me they like gardening. The girl into urban permaculture whose favourite bird is a yellow tailed black cockatoo vibes. The family with a rescue dog called Jax and a background in conservation vibes.
Spud does not vibe.
Especially after I check his profile, which says simply: 'Im a pain in the ass'. After a ten minute silence on his end where he thinks about what I mean, he finally comes back to me.
"Oh!' says Spud. 'Im only a pain in the ass to my mates'.
'Thanks Spud' I say. 'I'll be in touch'.
With Love,
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haha I interviewed a prospective tenant recently, for a lovely lakeside cottage, and he started going on about how he had to move in November 1 so he could stick it to his current landlord. Next!
I like Helen. She sounds perfect. The single mum too. The danger here is that they might not move out when you return and need the place for yourself. I've had that happen too. Make sure they have some idea of where they will go then.
You must be getting pretty excited about your trip! Or anxious? Both, I imagine.
Excited ! I have no time for anxiety! Funny, travelling doesn't make me anxious.
Yes, I'm worried about them not moving out as well! We have to legally give two months notice. I hope my judge of character is okay!
That is not enough you need to look for someone with 66 cats, 2 dinosaurs, 5 gorillas and 1 elephant. Otherwise why bother... am I right? 😄
I hope you can find the right *people soonest so you can get to know each other. This is a big trust. Not easy. 😓
The dinosaurs would be the clincher for sure, as long as they were house trained!!!
That 54 year old does sound good, also sounds like you'd never get rid of a couple of those candidates!
I need Chat Gtp to write me an airtight contract methinks!!!
I would say this looks promising, after all. So that's exciting 🙂 You have the right to be prejudicial, as you say, it's your house. I was the same when I rented out my flat.
I suppose the next step is to meet in person with the ones that make your shortlist? That usually helps a lot.
Btw, I thought you would leave in early January but I'm not completely up to date.
xx
Haven't spoken in ages! Mid Feb we are pretty sure!!! Yes we have met one couple. The rest have moved on already! I might need to readvertise..
At least he is honest 😀
Omg I know right!!!!! The bullshit people spin! I do feel quite endeared to Spud now..
Oh the joys of an add and responding hahaha 🤣
So familiar.
Do what you think is right and you get good vibes from.
Totally relying on vibes!
I do too, always.
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"five kids, including a 22 year old 'who likes mowing'" reminds me of the family with six (!?!) children, some of whom were teenagers, that wanted to rent a single room from me...
Omg that's insane.... I am not sure if people realize how odd they sound sometimes.
The more children they have, the more likely that becomes...
You have to put a lot of trust in people to let your house out like that. I mean I'm ok with letting out my property, but I couldn't do it as is, with all my personal property there knowing I'll be moving back in afterwards. I'm a bit OCD and fussy with my personal space. Mentally, I'll have to prepare myself that they're going to mess up my home.
Good luck with finding the right tenant, sounds like you have some potential good candidates, but I'll pass on spud as well
We have done a lot of mental preparation! The benefits of renting it out vs not outweigh any qualms we have. It'll fill our tank with fuel each week!
jajajajja. It looks very nice if home. If it were mine I wouldn't let Spud have it either. hahaha.
It takes all kinds, they say…
Hope you can find a really good fit.
It’s comical how wild people are like spud. They don’t get the fact that they are full of red flags lol but that’s the era we live in, people don’t understand social cues and norms the way they used to it seems. Hopefully you get a solid renter!