When I was in preschool and we were getting a bit rambunctious, our teacher would call a timeout in the air. Everyone instantly knew that they needed to return to their desks, close their eyes, calm themselves by breathing deeply and listen.
For a minute we would simply listen and remember everything that we heard. We would then take turns telling our class mates what our ears had picked up on. It was a mindful exercise I learned when I was only six utilizing only one of my senses. I still use it today, but I've expanded it to include all of them. Here's my senses experience from today.
The Sense of Loss
Today I sit with a really heavy feeling. A huge sense of loss. It's not like experiencing the other senses and it permeates through every fibre of my being like a tainting of sadness.
You were such a large personality, such a character. You were my defender and my little hero. Your heart was big and full of love, your purr made me happy and your head bumps and nose kisses always put a smile on my face. You would lie on my chest when I was sad and you would jump on my lap while I was writing posts, putting your paws on the laptop keypad as if you wanted to try your hand at writing too.
Your beautiful green eyes sparkled and twinkled at me when you were asking for me to stroke or brush you and then they would close down in contentment when you were getting head scratches and ear strokes.
There is a massive, gaping hole in my life where you used to be. It has left me feeling raw and broken-hearted because even as small as you were, your personality was huge and you were full of spunk and attitude.
I will never forget the day that you defended me against a dog and you would sit in front of me on the balcony - watching the horizon as if scanning for threats. You would growl at the backfiring cars and you would ward off any cats trying to move into your territory. You were ferocious in spirit and steadfast in action. You taught me so much in the half decade that you walked with me. You never judged me poorly or moaned when I arrived home later than you liked. You just greeted me with a "brrrrrpp-pppurrrr" and you'd climb up my leg asking for hugs. You were one of the most affectionate and loving animals I've ever had the privilege of knowing and caring for.
You cared for me too in your own ways and this sense of loss is going to be with me for many years to come.
I miss you so much already my boy. You will live in my heart forever. I will never forget you.
I have also lost cats and it is very hard, each one of them keeps a place in my mind and heart, to collect them as you do is a way to honor them and keep them present in our minds.
So hard, they each have personalities and their absence makes such a big hole where they used to be. I have missed him sleeping on my chest, it just isn't the same. He's in a better place now with no pain, so for that I am grateful. He lives on in my memory and heart.
I'm sorry you've also had to experience it, a feeling I dread with having such close companions but the pain is worth all the time we get to spend with them when they're with us.
Hugs
You described it perfectly because they are always present in our mind and heart, I remember them every day, but I know they are better, a big hug for you, from me and my seven cats.
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you. It's hard, but he'll be remembered 💔
Forever meow!!!