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i see you put a limit on yourself with pet's affection. i know she had a pretty good life, she just didn't have enough adventures to go on and enough treats in her life

Yeah I was traumatised when most of kittens died because of territorial issues from other cats. After that bad experience I don't get too much close with my pets.

I'm sure you did the best you could and your pet for sure knows it. She is at peace now and I hope you find peace as well and eventually move on with your life.