Entry 14 of ##################
This is agent #### reporting on the 11th attempt to remove reporter clark kent of the daily planet
Now as an agent with a confirmed 95% removal rate of expelling rogue elements in the USA, I find myself at odds with this man who seemingly has got way too much luck on his side,
When we attempted to persuade mr kent from engaging with who we now know as a Cadmus asset aka ##########
from mr kent story about lex Corp dealing with corruption and arms smuggling (see file “the Enterprise") we tried to convert rogue element to our side but this was stopped before by the higher ups (who knew the bald sellout had friends in shady places) So we proceed to go to operation engagement to directly re
now due to lack of evidence that he rarely used his car or any form of transport, (guy seems to teleport into places but this made it hard to track him) so we had to engage with diversion targets under the guise of having information vital for the story, usually a level 2 asset to lure the target in, and then we had to engage
Attempts included
Heart needle suitcase
the needle broke and subject proceed with phony interview without any sign of poison working.
Colombian neck tie,
with this we attached a fiber ligament that would get tighter the more you tucked on and was impervious to be taken off even with grade 1 lasers unti subject has Asphyxiation, this one never worked due to the subject stopped wearing his favourite ties, it like he could see what was in the device but it was interwoven into the material and even scanner can’t detect it.
The funky drink
we mixed his standard coffee with an old favourite of the agency, (LSD) with the intention of hoping he would get hit by a car or something along them line while under a “acid trip” even in worst case scenario the subject creditability is ruined due to drug abuse and rambling that the government was after them. but to my dismay it had no effect, even when we order a drug test at the daily planet no trace was found in his blood, THIS GUY IS REALLY STARTING /Redacted/
Falling to plan
This method is less used due to the fact at this point subject is usually not a threat but it sets an interview in a building where the subject in on the top floor but they are no lifts and the stairs are rigged to collapse and fall at a pressure point of about 80kg/ 176.37 Pounds, now given the big muscle build this was a fair assumption and we waited for subject to fall to death, and for good measure we have planted some spikes at the bottom under pretense of rubbish which will inject TB into subject( great use in case of #############)
however subject again did trigger this on the stairs like his weight had no bearing on the stairs, after subject had left the area we tested this based on his weight and the trigger was active and working, WHAT IS WITH THIS GUY.
So I’m going to go to extremes to get this done, I have contacted agent ##### from black ops Project X to aid with this mission, I Figured if Asset L4325F47535 can do the job then we are all happy, and beside I think he will prefer the city versus the beach if what /Redacted/ has been confirmed about some starfish issue, But with the news of Superman being shot I figure we have the best chance to put an asset into metropolis without him noticing the asset
update log 14 -2 (6 hours later)
This operation has been shut down and agent #### Has been removed from project Enterprise and in term to further operations involving subject Clark Kent he is to be left alone under authorisation of project Cadmus.
Signed
/Redacted/
GG! It's funny you weren't kidding when you said you were going to make a story out of the meme! I dig it!
!PIZZA
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Well i did say i was going to do it, and im a man of my word :)
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This was hilarious, I really love the increasing frustration from the agent in question, so funny! Thank you for sharing! !PIZZA
Yeah i figured how could a mortal man survives things as such and the frustrations of potentially not using a car or areas where he would be at, i.e the daily planet
i hope you enjoyed the little easter eggs i added to the story
@ecosaint
The moment the agent realised it superman and Clark looks at his glasses in his hand going "oops"
Nice job @dadspardan This was funny and interesting to read! I could see another version of this being written from Clark's perspective. !LOL !PIZZA
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Would be funnier if because of the way he is when no one is watching him he doesn't notice things like this, Like the needle from the suitcase breaking, thinking he just bumped into a suitcase,
might be a nice twist
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Lol if only we had a modern day Clark Kent! Reporting and they can’t kill em!
I would like to see putin invite him for some radioactive tea :P see how that goes
Really very funny... I chuckled all the way through. Was that final frustration in the end lol... and Superman wins the day haha.