This is great, and very poetic in a way. I think you handled the death of Lady Anya really well, and you used a good technique which was to focus on the embroidered dress and not the wound. I heard this great quote from Richard Price, where he said, "You don't focus on the horrors of war, no, you focus on the child's burnt sock lying on the road."
It works well, and you made that scene far more effective by choosing what to focus on in that moment.
One thing I will say though, is maybe spend a bit more time punctuating/ structuring your sentences.
That evening was no different from other days and in this accord, Lord Osborne always leaves her, Lady Anya be while he takes a stroll at the lakeside.
I had to take a double read of this sentence. This is just one example, but it's one that jumped out at me.
That evening was no different from any other. Lord Osborne always left her - Lady Anya - be, while he took a stroll by the lakeside.
Lord Osborne would usually leave Lady Anya be, while he would take one of his strolls by the lakeside. This evening was no different.
It's a very minor nitpick, and it doesn't take away from your ability to write and paint a vivid picture in the mind of the reader, but considering how well you do everything else, I think focusing on sentence structure could be good, to build upon your skill.
Overall, really well done, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing. Keep up the good work.
Hello @killerwot
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and for sharing your feedback with me. I truly appreciate your kind words and insightful observations.
I'm glad you found the handling of Lady Anya's death effective, and I appreciate the comparison to Richard Price's quote about focusing on specific details to give the story a deeper meaning.
I value your feedback on sentence structure, and I see how improving it can enhance the reading experience.
I will definitely take your advice to heart and work on punctuating and structuring my sentences more effectively to ensure a smoother flow in my writing.
Your examples and suggestions for rephrasing the sentence are very helpful, and I will keep them in mind as I continue to refine my writing style.
Thank you once again for your encouragement and constructive feedback. I'm grateful for your support and look forward to sharing more of my work with you in the future.