Betting on Effort

in #hive1 hour ago

November is about to wrap up, and I can’t quite believe the year is almost over. It feels like a lifetime ago, and somehow just a few months back — when I decided to put woodworking on pause and really focus on Hive. I don’t regret it, but my shop could definitely use some TLC.

I told my wife yesterday that I’m going to make it a point to visit the woodshop in the mornings. Just a few hours a day cleaning and organizing until it looks inviting again. The weather hasn’t been too kind here, and the roof is full of little holes. I can’t do a proper repair at the moment, so some plastic sheets will have to do.

The truth is when I start thinking about everything that needs doing — both here on Hive and in “real life” — I get overwhelmed. It feels like life is just a never-ending game of catch-up, and maybe I just need to accept that. But I don’t feel like a victim or anything. Life is what it is. Whether I’ve had money in my pocket or not two nickels to rub together, I’ve always managed to find reasons to smile… and I’m trying to keep that streak alive.

Today, a friend asked me some tough questions, the kind I should probably have answers for by now. Basically: How is what I’m doing going to work long term? How will Snapie become profitable? How will I support myself working on Hive?

I had to admit — and it didn’t feel great — that my strategy has a heavy dose of “hoping for the best” baked into it. He called me out, and I can’t blame him. Truth is, a lot of Hive projects don’t have a clearly defined path. And depending on who you ask, that might be the very reason so many end up fading away.

When I try to sum everything up, all I’m left holding is this one idea I cling to with both hands: If you pour enough work, love, dedication, and conviction into something, eventually the results show up. Is that necessarily true? Probably not… but it ought to be.

How do I make a living doing this? I ask myself often. And I keep falling into the same trap: that comforting “IF.” If Hive goes to a dollar, I’ll be fine.That theme almost has its own song in my head at this point.

There’s so much that needs doing around here. Windows to build — I live in what the kids call a “glamping situation.” Cars to fix — my Niva, my tank, has been parked for two months. And more importantly: dentist and doctor visits I’ve delayed for far too long. You know… those checkups we salt-and-pepper heads are supposed to do yearly so we don’t end up as cautionary tales.

Today I decided to take the day mostly off. I still did some coding and cleaned up some PRs — my brother gave me flack about a few things — but I also let myself be distracted by some entertainment. Some days I can’t watch a movie without feeling guilty, like I should be working harder to get us off the ground.

Tomorrow might be a similar day. I haven’t really taken time off in months. Even when I’m not at the computer because I’m in the city fulfilling some civic duty or picking up a family member from the airport… I still clock a few hours at night to keep the guilt away.

But I recognize I need a little more balance. So today, I took it easier.

On Monday, though… Monday is another story.

MenO