(Photo by @stoodkev
So I’ve been back posting Daily for more than 2 weeks here on Hive. This is after several years of lurking. Posting 7 posts in 2022, and 6 in 2021. I was always around, i popped in and checked out posts and voted occasionally, but for the most part was absent.
Ive been trying to think about the Whats and why’s of not being active. It was partly due to just being busy. After so many changes brought on by Covid, my life and family had to adapt, during that phase of adaptation i just didnt have the bandwidth to be posting regularly. Well thats a kind of half truth. It’s true. But i think if my heart was in it, i would have found the time.
I guess the bigger truth was that i was really into being a Steemian. I was never here for the money. I wanted an alternative to the mainstream social media that make us into the products. I really believed in the narrative (and still do) of having more control over and getting more benefit from my output. Not just giving it away to facebook, instagram, twitter, tic toc, whatever corporate money suck. I desperately wanted an alternative. Steem was that for me. I was a presenter at both krakow steemfest and Thailand.
I was passionate about Steem, i was passionate about creating videos for dtube and making connections with real people who sought similar goals of a more fair distribution of energetic, financial and overall control of ones content.
Steem wasn’t perfect, but it felt like mine, like ours.
I made so many connections and friends from 2017 through 2020. It all held a special place in my existence as it was Steem that got my creative self. I had a job and a boring real life. But on Steem… i was Buttcoins, almost like a secret double life where i could be whatever i wanted.
I like to think i brought openness, fun, creativity, positivity and an overall vibe of saying ‘Yes’
So when the Justin Sun saga happened with all its aftermath… i kept trying, but i could never quite slip into the Hive change. I made plenty of videos in that first year of Hive. But i really felt i had lost something.
And I wasn’t a huge fan of all the in fighting. I had always been a dtuber… but now dtube was being seen as bad guy @heimindanger thing, but i had met him, and while he was a grumpy opinionated cunt, he was full force blockchain freedom. I stand by that guy, i think because he was a bit rough around the edges and said things how he saw them, that he pissed people off for sure, i get that… but he was a good guy, trying to create a YouTube for the people, and it didnt feel so great that him and dtube seemed to be getting shit on. I used both 3Speak and Dtube i had zero issue with either and liked both. I wanted a world where we could find harmony for all things built on Steem and now Hive… But it seems the entire chain went into conflict mode.
I dunno… i just feel i lost a lot of gumption and i could not flip it around and feel like i belonged in/to Hive.
I knew it was mostly the same community, but i had lost my spark.
It seems like for forever i kept saying, im gonna jump back in, im gonna start doing daily post again and rediscover the community. But it just always got pushed, or i started and just immediately stopped again. My own little ground hog day of im gonna do it later when the time is right, but it kept not happening.
Well here i am finally. After 2 weeks of regular posting and re-creating the habits for content creation, i find myself debating going to #Hivefest
A few have asked me, ‘why’ you’re not so active, you haven’t engaged much with hive. Why go to Hivefest Mexico? Simply put. I want to Feel Hive.
Going to 2 Steemfests was powerful for me. It brought the digital to the face to face. It made it real. I felt it.
I want the same for Hive. I haven’t changed. I seek the same sovereignty of my creative output. I want a world where we the people run and shape the social media environment that we engage with. Whether it will ever be, i dunno, but i want to at least be part of trying to have that… the alternative is just more of the zuckerfucks mining our metadata and controlling our attention desires.
I want to believe in Hive like i believed in Steem. Not like some blind follower, but as a builder. To me, hearing that Hive would be in Mexico, the neighbor country to where i live in Guatemala… it felt like a sign.
And so it goes, here i am, rediscovering this community and working toward arriving in Mexico to see and FEEl HIVE
I'm really grateful that you wrote, and that I read, this post! I feel for you about how much you loved Steem, and how challenging it has been for you to get back into your groove here. I only arrived a year and ten months ago, so I'm fairly new, and I've seen how downvoting can be used very poorly, but I love and believe in this Blockchain, very similar to how you felt about Steem. I recognized it's potential as soon as I got here, and I've been all in for the long haul ever since. I'm happy to meet you! 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙
Yes, I see and feel your passion.
Glad to have found you!
Any thoughts to come to #hivefest
?
Both my fests were very powerful experiences!
I have now committed to going.
Buying tickets this weekend.
Pretty pumped!
I'm grateful for that! I'm happy that you found me, too! There is a contest I saw last week to get free tickets (food covered too) to go. I could likely find it if you'd like. That's fantastic that you've committed to going, and that you're so excited! Yay! I imagine that your two SteemFests were powerful experiences! While the thought of going is inviting, I'll be appreciating it from afar. 😁 🙏 💚 ✨ 🤙
This is so resonant! Both in being here a long time, and seeing so much go down, but also in the unparalleled excitement and connection that if the fest. I only went to one, but honestly, would love to go again, as it was such a fun experience. Unmissable, if one has the resources. At this point, Mexico is feeling a little far out for me (but the fact that I'm still kinda half-hoping for a miracle goes to show how much I enjoyed the one I did attend).
Here's to hoping you get there and have a proper blast ;) And here's to double lives (done this way, 'cause it fucking rocks).
Where do you live? Internal US flights to San Diego would probs be no so outlandish. And there is a free pick up from San Diego airport i heard.
There is a few contests to win entrance and hotel too. 🤞 maybe apply? I live in Guatemala. I found round trip from Guatemala for 400$. But if i cross the border into Mexico via land, i found a 145$ round trip flight. So i think ill do that as its only 4 hours on a bus.
You were in krakow steemfest right? I was there… i loved that one.
Yes… double lives on the internet is indicative of these last few generations… i certainly get a kick out of it. Wonder what it will be like 100 years from now, after VR and AI are fully permeated… maybe our double lives will just be our actual lives as we sit in some pod…lol full matrix 🤣
Thanks for visiting my post, hope that miracle hivefest dream happens for you!
Eastern Europe, alas. Flights seem to be around $1000. Yeah, I've been thinking about trying my hand at the contests. That's how I ended up in Krakow a few years back, too. Got very lucky, I guess. A broke 19 year old could've never afforded it otherwise xD
That's not too bad! Lucky you.
I have this sort of idea about dreams, how that's our real life, and this is all just fake. But real life on the Internet, never thought of that. That's got potential for a story, I'd say xD
Yeah, there is 4 tickets up for grabs, and i just heard another contest is about to happen. Plus i think there is some way to apply for support.
You know what they say in this life. You just gotta take the leap…lol, they say a lot of other things too… but ya know.
If you are open ended in your life and you want to continue on… i am happy to offer the opportunity to volunteer at my place in Guatemala. Over the years, many hivians have visited and several have volunteered. We are a hostel/hotel at Lake atitlan, right at the shores.
We ask an 8 week commitment of vols. We provide accommodation and food.
We host between 5-8 volunteers at any time.
Anyway, just throwing around options. 😎
Oh, I'm someone deeply beholden to that type of thinking. :) Thank you for the idea/option. Genuinely going to consider this, as it's very up my alley. Right now, I'm tryna finish up my trilogy and work on that a bit. Still trying to figure out how that fits with my adventure-seeking self. But if the option is still available in a few months, you may hear from me :) Thank you.
PS: That view is lovely.
"I like to think i brought openness, fun, creativity, positivity and an overall vibe of saying ‘Yes’"
You absolutely did!
Great piece Buttcoins. You've summed up well exactly how I felt about Steem too. My time on there was far shorter than yours, but it left a big mark. But since the Hive thing, I've basically been ignoring it, considering it to have been a failed experiment. Maybe I'm wrong, and I hope I am. Maybe I'll cancel my powerdown and keep my Hive after reading your post. I'm not quite ready to head to Mexico though. I'll keep checking in and reading your posts and hopefully interacting with you and finding some of the old crew again. I only came here because I saw you'd commented on a video of mine on D.Tube, so thank you for that old friend!
Hey @camuel … so great to connect again.
Yeah I feel you, seems we were in similar mindsets.
Yeah for me, I feel I need to give Hive a true chance.
I wasn’t in the headspace to give it before. But now will go full on for a while.
I think most of us old crew of ddaily have shifted on, though there are a few stragglers. @captainbob @artekush @adetorrent @neopch
But im trying to treat this moment as a fresh start. Make new connections, ferret out positive energetics and spirited creators.
Truth is I unintentionally profited pretty well on the hive steem split.
Kinda feel a sense of obligation to give Hive a proper go, come at it with a blank slate and fresh eyes.
That hivefest is so close, seems a great opportunity to go for it… and i always preferred the face to face connections.
Plus even if it ends up sucking, it is the beach, so still gonna be a sweet trip.
Im pretty excited about meeting passionate folks from the latin faction, seems there is good energetic there and as i speak spanish hoping to find the thrive in that side of Hive.
Ill be watching out for your posts, so hope you stick around. You are a talented and sensitive soul, if you left, it would be a serious loss for Hive 😘
P.S. im 2 years sober these days. Chats with you were defo an aide in moving this sober direction. Life is better than ever.
Cheers for that!
Just happened to stumble upon this: Are you still sober my friend?
Two years? Dude! That's awesome! I'm sure you'll have a blast in Mexico. I'm looking forward to hearing about it!
Lol, I didn’t know you were even still around. Yeah, im not technical and never will be.
I care about the feeling, spirit and not participating in the mainstream corporate social medias that just completely leverage our attention and mine for profit our metadata.
I recognize that there are people using their hive power to silence dissenting voices.
Which I don’t see as healthy for the strength of Hive.
I’ve always thought it not right what happened with Dtube and you as I wrote in my post.
Feels like a battle of cock length.
Trick is I’m nobody and never will be someone playing in these power games.
I don’t say things to rock the boat and so won’t have issues of being downvoted to oblivion.
I’m not here to be involved n the debates of how hive is run or dev debates.
I’m here for creative spark, community, a different way of looking at our content and who benefits from it.
I don’t need hive to be perfect or without issues.
I seek hive to be a fertile ground for connection and creativity.
Doesn’t mean I can’t see that you being blasted to -12 rep is not ok.
Just not the battle of a peon