Moshi Moshi once again Steemians! First of all, i want to thank ALL of you who are reading this post right now! Your support means the WORLD to me! But most importantly, the reason you are reading this very post right now is because YOU have the WILL to TRY and IMPROVE your relationship with your teenage kids. That is a very respectable attitude and you should definitely give yourself a pat on the back for that! This is not only for parents but also for anybody who is interested on how the average teenage mind works!
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Writing as a 16 year-old teenage boy, I am definitely sure that with these tips, you can slowly but definitely improve your relationship with your kids!
Teenagers. The teenage stage of life has always been considered as one of the best stages in life. Teenagers are always full of energy when it comes to...... pretty much everything! You're probably thinking of; "Teenagers can do whatever they want, but why do they always have mood swings?"
Before we try to understand more about teenagers, let's try putting ourselves into their shoes. In this case, in your teenage kids' shoes. You must already know that in this stage of life, we (teenagers) suddenly become A LOT more full of ourselves since you guys have already experienced it first-hand. And coming from a 16 year-old teenage boy (me), its like we suddenly got gifted (or probably even cursed haha) by the Ego God himself hahah!
This is where all hell breaks loose. One of the first 'symptoms' of the 'Egola' (Ego+Ebola. I like making puns so shush it hahah) is where we start believing all of our actions are right and we tend to deny or not listen to the adults' advices anymore. Of course having a HUGE ego also means wanting to be more superior than anybody else. Yes, including adults too.
So, if your teenagers tend to not listen to what you want them to do, don't get discouraged and instantly ground/scold them for that. Instead, you should probably rethink on how to put your demands on a new sentence. Teenagers do not and I mean DO NOT like it when they feel like they're getting bossed around. Instead of saying "(Name), its your turn to throw the trash out!", try saying "(Name), can you throw the trash out?" and just leave. I'm not even kidding. If you stay and pressure your child until he/she throws out the trash, sure they will throw it out but they will start hating you overtime for it.
And that's the first tip on how to improve your relationship with your teenage kids;
- Try not to boss them around. Instead, ask them nicely and just leave them be. They will slowly but definitely do what you want them to do.
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Your intonation also plays a big part in the issue. There are basically 3 groups of intonations. There is the 'making friends' intonation, 'talking to a friend' intonation and the 'bossy' intonation. The 'making a friend' intonation is basically just making yourself sound a pitch higher than you usually talk whilst the 2nd intonation is where you talk like you usual self and the 3rd is where you make yourself sound deeper so that it makes you sound a bit more intimidating.
So normally, you're supposed to use the 2nd intonation when you're talking with your teen. The 3rd intonation is already too obvious that it's the wrong intonation to use. Now, you must be thinking;"Shouldn't the 1st one be a better choice though?". Well in my opinion, if you use the 1st intonation, it'll either go badly or smoothly. The reason why I say this is because your teenager may be thinking that you're faking the intonation. That you may be taking advantage of the psychological trick so that you can make them do what you tell them. But like i said, it can also go smoothly. Only use the 1st intonation when you think you haven't been spending too much time with your child. So this can probably be the first stepping stone to your great teen-parent relationship.
- Try to have a friend-to-friend conversation with your teenager.
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The 3rd tip is probably too obvious, but you need to know when enough is enough. Have you ever felt the urge of checking out your teenager's chats logs or what they are currently doing? I know that you're trying to be more considerate and you should! But if your teenager doesn't want to be disturbed, it is probably the best if you leave them alone unless you think they are going through depression or some sort of mental disorders (I'm gonna write about mental disorders and how to get through them as a teenager next. So stay tuned for that!). Besides that, it is best if you listen to them and give them their privacy. I mean, if you want them to respect you, you need to respect them too!
- Always give them their space and privacy and don't be too nosey in everything they do.
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So yeah! Those are some of the basic knowledges you need to know on how to improve your relationship with your teenage kids. If you would like more of these kinds of content, be sure to let me know in the comments below! I'm also planning on writing some fictional stories in the near future. So stay tuned for that too!
Let me know how you're doing with your teen in the comments below! If you have anymore questions about teen problems, be sure to tell it to me in the comments below! I'll be looking forward to write more "How to's" in the near future! That's all for now! See ya later!
Check out my introductory post on my blog too!
This really helps for parents to understand their teenage child. I like it. Well done.👍👍👍
Dun have a teenage kid, but yeap, your tips will really help bonding the relationship between teens and parents (cause i was once a teenager who longs for freedom too!) haha
Wonderful Insight from a 16 year old. Cool.